encountering your shadow https://life108.net Create & Resonate Thu, 16 May 2019 09:09:19 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.6.4 137601391 Confessions of a Yoga teacher – sitting with your shadow. https://life108.net/2019/02/04/confessions-of-a-yoga-teacher-sitting-with-your-shadow/ https://life108.net/2019/02/04/confessions-of-a-yoga-teacher-sitting-with-your-shadow/#respond Mon, 04 Feb 2019 08:09:30 +0000 http://life108.net/?p=1400 I am a yoga teacher. Being a yoga teacher gives you the opportunity to do and learn so many things. […]

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I am a yoga teacher. Being a yoga teacher gives you the opportunity to do and learn so many things.

You learn about the history and philosophy of yoga, anatomy and how the body works. You learn about the breath and its importance in our lives. You learn about the varied styles of yoga, what makes them different and how you would teach them differently. You learn how to cue poses and plan classes.

What you don’t always learn is how to deal with yourself.

How to deal with the multitude of fraudulent feelings that arise when you enter this over-saturated industry and begin to teach. You don’t learn about finding your own voice and don’t get taught how to develop your own style of teaching and what your niche actually is. You only know that it is very important and will be the only thing that separates you from other teachers.

You walk into a class that you are about to teach. There are about 15 people in the class, none of whom you have met before. They are all chattering amongst themselves and you realize that they are not speaking English. You have a look at a couple of them and see they all look quite fit and generally happy to be there. “Oh my God they are going to hate me“, you think to yourself.

You plug your music in, select your playlist, unroll your mat and sit down. You introduce yourself, thank them for coming and ask if there are any injuries you should know of or if anyone in the class has never done yoga before. To which you only receive silence back. I’m not joking, you get no answer and have to go on their facial expressions. And then as you ask everyone to close their eyes and breathe in through the nose……you go completely blank and realize that you have forgotten you have a mouth and can’t remember your sequence.

I am a yoga teacher, and although when I went into teacher training it was not for the sole purpose of teaching ( it’s more common than you think), I am happy that I decided to pursue this career because of how much I have learnt about people and myself. I will admit, though, that sometimes being a teacher has made me have to face some emotions and feelings that honestly, I would have been fine never having to deal with ever.

The reason I speak about these hidden emotions here is that it is not very often that a yoga teacher will admit when they are struggling.

We have to face things like

  • Learning how to project your voice, say what you mean and mean what you say…when you are a complete introvert.
  • Planning classes, music, themes, and sequences… when you can’t even plan your weekly grocery list.
  • Feel confident in your ability, experience, and knowledge….even though you completely forgot what the opening instruction of your class was.

We don’t really talk about

  • How we feel when a class goes terribly wrong or when that one student kept looking at the time.
  • How we struggle to make the class interesting and worry when the students look bored.
  • How there are millions of other teachers with far more experience and years, who have gone through workshops, training’s and studied yoga because its become their life and all you have at the moment is your basic training.
  • When the last time was we really practiced and how we struggle with our home practice, even though it is the single most important aspect to being a good teacher, and yet the one thing I have heard a lot of teachers say they have difficulty maintaining.

There are a whole world of boundaries to break and fears to confront.

When we speak about hidden emotions, there are 3 ways we as humans have evolved to actually press down and squash these feelings so tightly within ourselves that we eventually burst from too much hot air.

    • We project -”I do not feel confident with the class or feel that I am good enough to teach or that the sequence is good enough to be taught and so feel that they will not like the class.”
    • We rationalize – “Well I didn’t have enough time to plan the class better because I have a normal job”.
    • We put on the social mask – “I am a yoga teacher and meant to be full of positive thoughts, sparkly unicorn farts and know how to cure that niggle in your knee.”

The only way, I feel, to get out of this is to go through it. Teach as much as I can, learn where I can and improve where I can.

I have an entire lifetime to teach and it can only get better.

Sometimes we just need to sit with our thoughts (and our shadows) and dissect what it is that is weighing on our hearts. Even when we might need to shatter the unrealistic facade that we have created in our attempt at perfection.

How do you sit with your shadow?

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Sitting with your Shadow https://life108.net/2019/01/28/sitting-with-your-shadow/ https://life108.net/2019/01/28/sitting-with-your-shadow/#respond Mon, 28 Jan 2019 09:00:32 +0000 http://life108.net/?p=1337 We often hear and read about “shadow work”, or that person is “operating from their shadow”, “you need to integrate […]

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We often hear and read about “shadow work”, or that person is “operating from their shadow”, “you need to integrate your shadow”, “I am struggling with my shadow” etc, but what does that even mean?

To understand the “shadow”, we need to start by turning to our physical, natural reality and ask: “What is a shadow?” A shadow is a disruption in the flow of light, casting a visual copy of the perceived object form the angle of the direction of light. Though shadows from the same object can differ in size and sometimes seem like a totally different shape, the object source of the shadow remains the same, but it is the intensity of and angle from which the light is shone that changes the appearance of the shadow. It is only in the total absence of light that a shadow does not exist – in darkness, a whole other topic.

Everything in our physical existence can cast a shadow when a light source is introduced. I am sure you have heard the saying that a flame does not have a shadow, signifying that by being a source of light you will not have a shadow. Yet, when you cast a light source on a burning candle at the right density or brightness and angle, even a flame will cast a shadow. What am I getting at you ask? That even a light source can cast a shadow when another light source is introduced, so no matter how “spiritually evolved” you may become, shadows will always come up to be dealt with.

So how does this apply to the spiritual aspect of our shadow?

Most of us have become so distracted in life; occupied with the mundane tasks of living, being part of society, living up to expectations, being what our families, jobs, communities, partners, children etc need us to be, that we never get to see ourselves, nor notice our shadows, until a light source is introduced – very often through a harsh life experience that shakes the flaps off of our eyes, but sometimes through a natural deep inner awakening.

We see ourselves for the first time, start to get to know ourselves, our true selves, seeing all parts of us as the Light shines upon us. And then we notice it, cast to the side in a shape that seems familiar yet unrecognizable – our shadow. It makes us see ourselves from a different perspective and angle. It makes us think differently about who we are and what we are going through in that moment. Sometimes making us act totally out of character or unaligned with good moral values.

Picture this situation: Your best friend of many years rubs you up the wrong way and suddenly that love that you feel for them feels a lot less like love and a lot more like anger, hate or vengeance. Something that has never happened before, so why now? This is the Light making you aware of the shadow part of your Love. It shines upon you, casting a shadow and using this quarrel to draw your attention to it. Acknowledge this shadow. How big is it? What is the light source casting this shadow? Is the light coming from your past? From your childhood? Does it have to do with your value and how you are perceived? How does this shadow make you feel? What aspect of the quarrel caused this light source to cast this shadow? Was it a word? An expression?  Sometimes the light source comes through meditation, a healing session or another person shining in our lives and making us vulnerably aware of ourselves.

 

Now comes the time for decision: am I going to act on this shadow and roll with the anger, hatred and vengeance? Or am I going to act on the light source and heal this part of myself that is calling my attention? By having an honest awareness of yourself and a willingness to master your shadows instead of acting on them, you will be able to acknowledge when this happens and make the right decision – following the light to resolve the source of this issue instead of acting out and retaliating to your friend causing irreparable damage to a loving relationship.

The size and shape of the shadow and thus the difficulty or intensity needed to work with it will vary on the light source. Again, let’s turn to our natural surroundings to understand this a bit better: When a light source is weak or rather far away, the shadow will seem very dull, sometimes not even totally visible. When the light source is closer and brighter, the shadow is denser and more clearly visible. When the light source comes from a lower angle, the shadow appears long and stretched out and equal to the opposite, from a higher angle, the shadow will appear shorter and smaller. If the light source is very close, the shadow will be much, much bigger than the object itself.

The same happens with our shadow aspects. It depends on the intensity, angle and proximity the light source is coming from that will determine how dark and big this shadow will be in your life. And as we work on the light source to understand what is causing the shadow, we start integrating it. Pulling it closer to us until we can absorb it in to us and heal that part of us fully. Keep in mind that as you work on this light source, as it moves closer to you to integrate, the shadow moves along with it; changing in size and density, affecting your surroundings in different ways until you have integrated and healed the light source and the shadow disappears.

This is what it means to work with your shadow. Understanding that you will cast a shadow as long as you seek Light in your life and then being open and honest with yourself when that shadow is cast to see what light source it is coming from, so that you may integrate it and that shadow will no longer be cast, but instead become part of your being as wisdom and power to propel you forward on your path of soul evolution. It is not about “integrating your shadow” but instead integrating what is causing the shadow. Seeing the shadow as a teacher instead of an enemy. Knowing that this process will continue, always, until you yourself become integrated in to the Ultimate Light.

Join us on a journey into yourSelf. We will start off with a mini email course on Self-worth. Start the journey below.

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