healing

When We Feel Guilty for Showing Self-love. Recognising it and Healing it.

Juanita Pienaar — Wed, 08 Jul 2020 12:16:28 +0000

I have spent a lot of time thinking about self-love recently. Especially when we feel guilty for showing self-love. When I first started focusing on practicing more self-love in my own life, I came face to face with a bunch of hurdles and triggers that I needed to face and heal. The first obvious issue was that I really had no idea what practicing self-love even meant. It was never anything that I really gave much thought to.

For me, the best way to phrase it is relating to yourself as you would with a friend and romantic partner that you are crazy about. You know, staring at them adoringly, letting mistakes and irritable habits slide, being there, and showing up when they are down, hurt and broken. We tend not to do this for ourselves. It is as if we don’t think we deserve it. I know you also think that sometimes, otherwise, you wouldn’t be here reading this post.

I have avoided myself and my hurts and my needs very many times in the past. When I was scared or hurt or going through something, I tended to turn to others, take care of them, nurture them even more, and love them even harder, when I was the one who needed it. It was as if I thought that I would somehow heal myself by giving love and care to others. I would feel guilty for showing self-love.

I did not know how to receive.

I felt guilty for receiving.

I felt guilty for even asking.

The reasons why we have become conditioned this way are various and vast – mostly stemming from wounds inflicted in childhood. But here we are… Beautiful. Strong. Human… and feeling guilty for asking and accepting love – even from ourselves.

What is guilt?

Guilt is the feeling or emotion we experience when we (or others) think that we have done something wrong. It is slightly less intense than its cousin, Shame – where you believe you are a terrible person for doing something wrong.

You feel guilt when you do something that you perceive as not being acceptable by universal moral standards. You could also feel it when you break your own standards of acceptable behavior. People are social creatures, and we continuously strive for acceptance and approval. Anytime we feel that we have acted in a way that is not accepted or that either ourselves or others do not approve of, we feel guilty.

Because we think that it is not acceptable, we sometimes feel guilty for showing self-love.

So why do we feel guilty for loving ourselves?

The perception of lack.

There is the idea that if you spend any sort of resource, time, money, effort, and energy on yourself, there will be less for other people. We tend to hold on to the view that all of these resources are limited, and that keeps us in a perpetual cycle of lack.

The universe exists in a vibration of abundance – love is an energy of abundance. The more you learn to vibrate at that energy, the more you can encourage it to resonate and spread out, amplified.

The more love you cultivate in yourself, for yourself, the more you are surrounded by that energy and vibration, and the more it will naturally spread out to the world around you.

Feeling loved and cared for will naturally raise your energy as you no longer spend that energy focusing on just being ok. When you are in the space of giving yourself exactly what you need – as only you know how to give it – you spend less energy trying to get that from others.

So what about time? Surely that is a limited resource? Yes, and no. Without getting into a big discussion about whether time is linear or not, there is one thing that I want to focus on here. It is how you use the time that you perceive you have. I get it. There are probably 1000 things pulling at you and demanding your attention, and you need to figure out what to focus on and where to spend your time. The one thing that I learned about my excuse of not having time to spend on myself is that I mistook motion for inspired action.

Motion is all about doing and doing and doing, always staying busy in order to keep ahead and on top of everything that needs to be done. It stems from the idea that anything worthwhile is only obtained through hard work and struggle. We, as a society has glamorised burnout.

Now, let me say this: you can get so much more done when you start taking inspired action. Inspired action is when you slow down, you get quiet, and you start to listen to your soul. Some call it intuition – I know it as that voice that urges me to do something that just doesn’t want to go away. Sometimes it is quite persistent. Sometimes it is a fleeting thought to which I respond: ‘Ok, why not?’.

Through starting to take inspired action, you begin to work with the flow of the universe. Things start to fall into place with ease and grace. As you practice following your intuition, the right situations, people, and things will naturally start to gravitate to you. Opportunities arise, help comes when you need it. You are in the flow.

But self-love is selfish, right?

Wrong!

Sit for a moment and think about someone you love. A friend, family member, your partner or child… Think about what you would do for them and how far you would go to make them feel cared for, nurtured, safe, and loved. Now think about whether you are doing those things for yourself. Would you do those things for yourself? Have you been?

I am suspecting that the answer is ‘No’. That is because we feel selfish for taking care of and looking after ourselves. And by seeing ourselves as being selfish, we feel guilty for showing self-love. Perhaps this is because you have been taught that it is wrong, or maybe you were just never told that it is ok. It could also be that you just never learned how to give yourself the love that you freely give to others.

Taking care of yourself is often linked to words like ‘luxury’, ‘spoil’, and ‘guilty pleasure’. These words all link to beliefs that doing things for yourself is selfish. That it isn’t normal and natural. That we do not deserve it.

Perhaps now is the time to start changing that.

Enmeshment and preoccupation with others.

When you have weak boundaries, you tend to want to live up to other people’s expectations. You do things that are expected of you even when you don’t really want to. You feel responsible for others’ emotions, happiness, and wellbeing.

This is a form of enmeshment, where there isn’t a clear distinction between yourself and someone else. In this situation, you consistently place other people’s needs or even wants before your own needs.

By being enmeshed with others, instead of helping them, you are enabling them. You are standing in their way of self-automization, self-realization, and growth. You take away the responsibility that they have for themselves.

You need to set boundaries in order to start taking better care of yourself. This is hard, and other people might not understand it. They might get upset, and they might get angry. And that is ok. It is theirs to carry. Stand in your power and give when you have to give. But also take when you need to take. There is no need to feel guilty for showing self-love.

It’s really just all excuses not to sit with ourselves.

Whoa!

I know – that is a harsh truth. One that I have also had to face. The times when you love yourself the least are the times when you need it the most. But I get it, you are scared. You are scared of what you might find when you enter into an intimate relationship with yourself.

Relationships have a way of bringing all your ugly bits to light. You know, once you get to know someone, maybe move in together there are things about yourself that you can no longer hide – like the way your hair stands up like a cockatoo when you get out of bed, or how you really enjoy having a good fart!

The same thing happens when you start to grow and nurture your relationship with yourself. You encounter the things that you have been hiding from yourself for a very long time.

Carl Jung called this your shadow side or your shadow self. It is all the parts of you that you find unacceptable (and that society finds unacceptable). We hide from them and avoid them because if we look at them, we will realize that we are not perfect, that we are not always right, that sometimes we are the toxic people.

But you know what: there is infinite power that lies in exploring these dark parts of yourself. It helps you to work through old hurts and ways of thinking. It leads you on a path of healing and self-acceptance. It gives you the power to change yourself and your life because you no longer have this massive blind spot for the things, behaviours, and thoughts that have been holding you back.

This, for me, is the root of all the excuses not to love yourself:

You are avoiding being present with yourself.

Think about it. Every single act of self-love stems from the need to be present with yourself.

Give yourself a facial? Presence.

Choosing a treat for yourself that you love? Presence.

Focusing on accepting your body as it is right now? Presence.

Take yourself out on a date? Presence.

How do you become more present with yourself? Well, you start with setting the intention. Every morning when you wake up, choose to be present and to pay attention to yourself (or better yet start a self-love morning ritual). Write it down and make the commitment to yourself with ink on paper.

Affirmations to be present with yourself:

“Today, I am paying attention to myself”.
“Today, I am being present with myself”.

Start with little steps and start bringing your thoughts and attention to yourself throughout the day. Focus on how your body moves while you are doing the dishes. Listen to the sound of your voice when you speak. Bring your five senses into your daily self-love practice.

As with many things, the first steps on your self-love journey are the most difficult. As you get going, you will build momentum, and the lovin’ will start flowing freely and easily. I am here to support you all the way.

Join hundreds of others on a Free 1-week ultimate Self-love challenge. Or commit to doing a 1-month Unashamed Self-love virtual course.

You can join our Sacred Sisterhood of Self-love group on Facebook.

I also elaborate a lot more on guilt, lack, family wounds, boundaries, and loving yourself more in my Remembering Your Worth E-course. Follow the link or click below to find out more.

I would love to hear about how you show up and stay present with yourself, and how you handle moments when you feel guilty for showing self-love in the comments.

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Chasing Your Shadow – Working Through Your Shadow Side for a More Authentic and Happy Life.

Juanita Pienaar — Fri, 06 Dec 2019 09:16:49 +0000

We all have those bits of ourselves. The bits that we hide from others. And the bits that we hide even from ourselves. It is the parts of ourselves that we deny, that we avoid and turn away from when they come up. Often, it is the parts that we feel are not acceptable to ourselves or others. It is often by suppressing these aspects of ourselves that we fall out of balance with ourselves, when we feel anxious and depressed and as if something is just ‘a little bit or a lot off’. Some days you are chasing your shadow… some days it might feel as if your shadow is chasing you…

What is your shadow?

According to psychologist Carl Jung we tend to project our shadow onto other people. Ever heard the saying that whatever bothers you the most of other people are your own unrecognised flaws? Our subconscious tries to bring these shadows to our attention through showing them in someone else. This can be friends or family or even fictional characters. It can even be in the form of people in your dreams. The shadow can also just be something that you repress, something that you hide from others and yourself.

It is natural for us to want to just see the good in ourselves, and it is difficult to admit to experiencing things like guilt and shame, anger, insecurity and lust, depression and anxiety. All of these things are seen by society as bad and we tend to distance ourselves from feeling and experiencing these things.

The more we try to silence our shadow side, the more it presses to be heard. It will consistently show up in other people and in your dreams. It wants to be acknowledged and integrated so that it can heal, and you can live a more authentic life.

“To become conscious of [the shadow] involves recognizing the dark aspects of the personality as present and real”- Carl Jung.

Once you start to do some introspection and chasing your shadow, or self-analysis as Jung calls it, your shadow will become more apparent. Honest investigation will show you parts of yourself that might be difficult to see, never mind accept. It is the parts that you have always been taught to reject, that aren’t good enough, that are not acceptable and worthy. From this stem self-rejection, and in extreme cases even self-hate.

Chasing your shadow.

To know yourself and fully accept yourself you need to dig deep into who you are, all the wonderful parts of you, but also all the nasty bits. Facing your shadow side, chasing your shadow, even just accepting that you have these qualities is difficult. You need to acknowledge parts of yourself that you have always tried to hide. The work is hard and long, one does not merely integrate one’s shadow in a day. It is a continuous cycle of growth, of facing bits, acknowledging and accepting them, healing and moving forward. Only to start the cycle again, digging more, digging deeper, healing more fully.

The goal of all of this is to be able to see yourself as a whole, but more than that, to be able to love and accept yourself as a whole, with all your good and bad parts.

You can, of course live your life without exploring your shadow side. This, however, will keep you in a state of unconsciousness as that is where the shadow resides. While ignoring your shadow you will also be ignoring your unconscious mind end everything in it that needs to heal.

We tend to avoid it because it is difficult and because it is painful. Few things are as soul shaking as taking a deep, hard look at yourself and realising that you are and have done things that are not ok. That sometimes, you are the toxic person in someone’s life. It takes strength and courage to stand, unwavering and face those truths about yourself.

Many people choose not to do it. They prefer to live in an unconscious space. For some people that path works, it is familiar, and it is comfortable. Facing your shadow is not. It is quite the opposite in fact. At least at first. It is sore and uncomfortable and daunting. But in the process, you will grow, and you will heal and the promise at the end is a self that is whole and complete. A person who know who they are and have seen the best and the worst in themselves and fully love and accepts the entirety of who they are.

How to face and heal your shadow.

How does one start to integrate your shadow? First you need to start by paying attention. Practice mindfulness and start to pay attention to the little things that might usually go unnoticed. You want to start making the unconscious conscious.

Through paying attention, you will start to learn what triggers you, what situations or which people elicits a certain, undesired, response from you. You will start to notice aspects of other people that you dislike. In these situations (or during a quite time afterwards) you can sit and explore the feelings that arose in you. Ask what triggered you and why you feel so strongly about it. Think back to other times in your life when you felt the same, is there a common thread that you can explore?

Our unconscious mind often speaks to us through messages in our dreams. My keeping a dream journal you will start to recognise whether there are patters that need to be explored.

The aim of shadow work is not to sit in a miserable heap, lamenting on what an awful person you are, although there might be moments of doing that. It is about self-discovery and self-acceptance.

It is thus important that shadow work should be done in a gentle and caring setting with focus and intention. A good practice is to keep affirming to yourself “I love myself when… (insert shadow aspect here)”. By becoming aware of your shadow side, it no longer holds any power over you. Rather, you become more empowered as a human being capable of experiencing the full spectrum of being alive, the good and the bad. And that is the way you lead an authentic life.

Find out how you can increase your self-love and chase your shadow side, and heal it through Remembering Your Worth.

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The moment I started realising my worth my life changed.

Juanita Pienaar — Fri, 17 May 2019 08:59:53 +0000

I’m sitting here scrolling through my memories on Facebook. Sometimes it makes me happy, sometimes it makes me sad and depressed. For a while I had stopped even opening them because it either represented forgotten friendships or people that I have lost, or… a visual reminder of all the most difficult times that I had gone through, neatly packaged into a stream of memes and quotes.

But it also gives me a sneak peek into my growth. I look at something I posted… I look at the date… I say ‘Ohhhh…that was when…” Most of the times that sentence ends with ‘I was hurting/struggling from or with something’.

The last day of May 2016 was the day that tore my soul apart. It broke me… Actually, it didn’t even break me. It completely erased me. All I was, was just empty. Nothing. It left me wondering whether I would ever be able to feel again. Hope again. Love again.

So I spent a year working on me. Sitting alone in the darkness of my room and my soul. Feeling unloved… feeling unlovable. And I healed… And I hurt… and I grew… and I clawed myself out of the dark and into the light.

I worked and worked – good lord I did all the hard work. And I felt like with every step forward I kept moving leagues back. But I kept at it. I kept persisting. Because in the moment that you have nothing, there is nothing to lose. Slowly, painfully I started to look at all the broken bits of me. At my insecurities and my flaws. At every limiting thought and believe that was holding me back. I looked them straight in the eyes – often shaking with fear. And I kept staring.

Until I felt it soften. Until I was able to envelope every barbed bit of me in love. And then I got cut some more. It is difficult to love the sharp, splintered bits of the human that is you.

But… I had nothing… and nothing to lose. So I sat with the pain. And I grew. And I got stronger. And slowly I started to change. I started to embrace me. Every dark and sharp and brittle and broken bit of me. I infused it with gentleness and love. I soaked it until self-adoration dripped off of my shattered edges like blood off the tip of a sword.

I was at war. One part of me shouting that I am not worth it, that I do not deserve to be happy, to be loved… while the other quietly whispered… ‘But dear Woman, you are’. And slowly the whisper grew louder than the shout. Day by day… moment by moment. The knowing grew. That I am worthy. That I am enough. Even with all my broken bits, with my cracks and dents, bruises and bumps.

This person, this soul is Enough.

The moment I started realising my worth my life changed. I fully loved myself, and within a month found someone who loves me, who accepts me, and who pushes me to heal even more. Today I see my posts on facebook from two years ago. And they show me the exact moment that I started Remembering my worth. I feel the change in the energy of the me from the past. And I cheer her on. I celebrate her. And I encourage her.

Because I know what she has been through. And I know what the me of this present moment has been through. Somewhere, for a moment, a minute, a month, I let myself forget.

I had put my head down and got caught up, and the ‘knowing’ my worth became a ‘guessing’ my worth. And really, that just wasn’t enough.

I have been feeling a massive shift in the last few days, and as if in an instant I was reminded of my worth. Of what I deserve. Of who I am and why I am here. That I am a beautiful, empowered, confident, created being who manifested myself into this life.

I can feel the changes in the air, the water, the earth and the fire. Are you ready to join the shift?

What pushed you to Remember your worth? Tell us in the comments below.

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Things we do to self-medicate

Katherine Wilson — Mon, 06 May 2019 07:20:18 +0000

What is medication? “A drug to diagnose, cure, or treat, or prevent a disease.” So says Wikipedia. Merriam-Webster says more nebulously, “the act or process of medicating;” or, “a medicinal substance.” The OED defines it as, “drug or other form of medicine that is used to prevent disease.”

As society becomes more and more connected, and humans continue to live longer, the definition keeps subtly shifting. Technology is being integrated not only into our daily lives via lap-tops, but also via changing treatments such as stem cell research, and the growth of new tissue. It’s an exciting time to be alive, and a disconcerting time as well. The borders between, “technology,” and, “human,” are melting away. This is certainly becoming readily apparent in popular movies such as, “Alita, Battle Angel.”

All creatures are born with the drive to survive. If that is not consistently fulfilled, it becomes injured. There are so many creatures out there now, with a simple need to feel grounded by real earth or have home and food needs met. It is no wonder that it pervades the common spiritual need, and it is a greater psychic need.

Where do people turn to to fill simple, small needs that one might not consider injuries, but are in fact expressions of psychic needs? Common expressions are over-using caffeine, sugar, and alcohol. Co-dependencies of any kind, such as food, sex, validation, smoking, prescription or non-prescription drugs are all an expression of a wound.

Unfortunately, simple anxieties are triggered very easily in modern society. Living close together in cities, long workdays, loneliness, and dissociation are all quite common.

These anxieties are often relatively easily alleviated with simple, repeated treatment, but often the anxiety gets so bad that self-medication has simply gotten out of control. People with pre-existing trauma have an extra-hard time with this. Those who are destined to be wounded healers have first the task of trekking through their own issues before they aid others.

How can people in the spiritual community take note, and aid others to fulfill, instead of overfill? Begin with the self. It always behooves one to look inwards. Equally important, examining how one’s anxieties are affecting one’s simple interactions in the world. Healing with the elements, relaxing, breathing, and allowing oneself to feel the literal or figurative ground beneath allows the entire group to feel more relaxed and at ease. It’s that simple.

Breathing and allowing the energy to flow through you can be called being a channel, and it’s easy to be a channel for the wrong feelings. Being a talented channel for the positive and soothing feelings of a single person or a group and or a vessel takes practice and dedication. Sometimes there are those who call themselves mirrors or sponges. There are many people with these traits. It can be a bit dangerous for those who discover it, and find that suddenly people start to avoid them for some unknown reason. Seeing one’s true self in the mirror is addictive, at first. Then it gets embarrassing, seeing all those little flaws. Sound familiar?

Anxiety is a noted awakening of kundalini. Learning how to control this energy is a natural process. Whether it is or not anxiety is associated with kundalini, it is recognised that meditation helps anxiety in many cases.

In order to help others in the community that are not as awake, being a stabilising channel is a good course of action. It is good to note that a new person on the path may cling if one is the only person around with clean energy. Setting firm boundaries and modeling good behaviour is absolutely necessary. Suggesting but not dictating a correct path is also good. The path of excellence is always a choice for others, and it is their interpretations and life to choose.

Medicating oneself or being medication for others is not appropriate. This is different from giving aid out of compassion or being loving to oneself. Generosity should be delineated from prescription.

Integrity of the body, mind, and spirit should always be kept as the goal, but it doesn’t work when one has surgery or a chronic illness requiring medication. So where do these ideas meet? In the alembic of personal belief systems.

We medicate ourselves – over and under our personal boundaries. Aiding one another to the path we are each meant to follow, we raise the other higher.

How do you self-medicate? How do you help others? Tell us in the comments below.

Sign up for a free self-worth mini course with the form below, or click here to get instant access to the Remembering your worth e-course.

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Healing with the elements Part 1 – Earth and Water

Rian Sprigh — Sun, 21 Apr 2019 08:53:58 +0000

Earth & Water – we all know them, but do we know how they affect us and how we can use them in our daily lives to restore balance and bring healing to ourselves and our environment? As an Andean Solar Priest, we are taught about the intricate relationship between the elements of nature as well as their influence upon us as humans. In this 2 part series I would love to share a few basic insights based on the teachings of the Sacred Andean Tradition. Read Part 2 here.

EARTH – Transforms us

Beautiful mother and bountiful provider. The Earth brings forth everything physical in our lives. She governs our physical reality, like a mother, giving us shelter and food, clothing us and allowing us to grow through her nourishment. Anything tangible came from this earth, no matter how much it may have been altered or modified by humans after taking it from the earth, it is from the earth. When we think of the Earth in this way, we can learn to call on her energy to help us navigate and change our physical situation and transform it into something more supportive. The same way she can break down an old leaf and turn it into nourishing food for another plant, she can take the energies that no longer serve us and transform it into something that can feed us.

Within our bodies, we carry all the same components that make up the earth; vitamins, minerals, metals, all up to atomic level, we are made up out of the same composition of our mother earth. So when we are in lack of any of these, with practice, we can absorb these from her to restore health and balance to our organism.

We can draw energy from others (which could be seen as energy vampirism), as well as the physical world around us. To start working with the Earth in an energetic way, go out to her and make contact with her. Take off your shoes and sit in a position where the soles of your feet touch the earth and you can lay the palms of your hands on her too, or lay down with your shirt lifted up and make contact with your navel. Then, start talking to her, telling her your worries, fears and secrets, your ailments and the things that aren’t right in your reality.

Ask her to absorb the energy of all these things from you and feel her take it. Listen to her answer as she takes this energy and starts transforming it, changing it into something beneficial and nurturing for you and returning it back to you. Thank her and take a few deep breaths and continue with your day. You will feel much lighter and energized. Doing this regularly will form a powerful, sacred bond with you and the Mother.

WATER – Cleanses us

Formed from earth, birthed from water. From our most vulnerable state as a fetus, until the day we depart from this form, we are dependent on this element.

Our entire organism is nothing more than a compilation of tiny sacks of water – cells. She flows, she freezes and she flies – as do we, with our emotions. The element of water is directly tied to our emotional state and expression.

When we become disconnected, depressed, or struggle with grief, we tend to freeze over, become hard and cold to the world. When we fall in love, or we become fired up with passion, we boil and become gaseous, flying high, out of touch with reality. We go through storms of anger, emotional high and low tides, tranquil flowing times and sometimes confusing rapids. In our body, she gives signals of our emotional pains through our kidneys and our liver, even our blood. We need to pay close attention to these messages so we can work with her.

When we feel emotionally stuck like a stagnant pool, frozen like a block of ice, or floating like gaseous clouds, we can work with the element of water to return to balance, tranquility and flow. She will wash over our spirit, rinse through our soul and clean out all the muck that is keeping us from clarity.

Find a stream of flowing water and sit by it, you can even enter the stream if you are comfortable, and face downstream, seeing the water flowing away from you. Visualize and/or feel the water coming from behind and washing over you, through you, and away from you and see all your mucky energy being washed away, downstream, far away from you. Feel the water rinse through every cell in your body and every vibration of your energy, cleansing you fully.

Ask the water to bring back flow and tranquility to you. To melt your frozen parts and bring down the rains from your floating clouds. Ask her to restore balance to the water aspect of your being. Thank her for what she has done for you and take a few deep breaths to come back to yourself. Once a strong relationship is formed with the Water in this way, you will be able to work with water in any form, be it from a tap, a shower, a pool, the ocean. Just keep love and respect in your heart and she will cleanse you.

These descriptions and practices have barely scraped the surface of how the Elements operate in our existence and how we can form relationships with them, accessing and using their energy and teachings in our day to day lives to help us become masters of ourselves, but they bring a starting point of what can be a beautiful relationship with the Elements and yourself. Let Nature teach you, after all, it is what created you… us… everything. Read Part 2 here.

What is your favourite way for healing with the elements? Tell us in the comments.

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I’m a reader?! I didn’t even believe in these things!

Juanita Pienaar — Mon, 01 Apr 2019 09:41:01 +0000

When I was about 14 I went to a fortune teller at a theme park. A friend and I did it just as a joke. She took one look at my tea-cup full of leaves and gave me a peculiar look which I just shook off. She gave us our readings and we left. I went home and wrote down a few things that she told me and as time went by I realised that many of the things had come true. I kind of shrugged it off as self-fulfilling prophesies and thinking “Well if you are going to look for the connections you will find them”.

About a decade and a half later I sought out a psychic again. I was in the aftermath of one of the most excruciating heartbreaks that I have ever experienced, and I reached out to her as if I was grasping at straw. One of the first things she asked me is “Why are you scared of your spirituality?” I was there for a love reading and had no interest in discussing my spirituality. At the time I was a yoga teacher- trained in Nepal. I wore a Raktu seed mala wrapped around my wrist and chanted mantra’s while I did yoga. I was spiritual AF!

As time went by some of the things that she said to me resonated within. Through working on healing my heartache I was delving deeper and deeper into my soul. At the time I believed that I was a Twin Flame. A unique soul who came to earth to explore unconditional love and to inspire that in others. This fueled me digging deeper and deeper – inspired by the promising allure that one day, once I am whole I would re-unite with the other part of my soul- enticingly packaged in a blond-haired, blue-eyed boy. On a side note, as time progressed the label fell away, as did my unshakable belief in being a Twin flame. Now, if anything, I would label myself as an empath, an intuitive, a clairsentient and a clairvoyant.

As I explored more and more of my spirituality I became aware of gifts and abilities that were unique to me. All my life I knew I was different, that I saw and experienced the world different to other people. I had this intuitive knowing about things – usually in the form of a warning- but I never really paid attention to it. While knowing I was different, I thought that everyone has this intuition.

On my journey I found a group of online psychics. They have a chat room and some practice evenings where everyone can join in and read each other. As I slowly came out of my shell I started to realise that the images I see and the words I hear and the messages that I get to give to people don’t arise from my own mind. That they come from something so much bigger than myself… and that they are often exactly what people need to hear. As I began to pay attention I started having dreams- vivid dreams that gave me insight into my current situations, but also prophetic dreams that hinted at things that were to come or happen to me.

All of this gently guided me to pay better attention. To listen at the whispers and notice the images that flashes through my mind. They weren’t just random thoughts but things that either I or someone else needed to hear.

But it sounds so crazy… doesn’t it?

Yes, I know. I know how it sounds… I hear things, I see things, I just know things… without having any real explanation for them in the physical world. I read people’s energies and I can feel what they are feeling. Heck, I’m even using cards to help with my readings. Devout Christian 15-year-old-me would have wanted to banish the evil out of 34-year-old-me for even thinking of using tarot cards.

My spiritual journey had evolved to such a point that I could no longer ignore who I really am. The universe kept pushing me to explore my skills and delve deeper and learn and grow more and more to the point where I was not only able to accept them, but to where I was pushed to offer these services to others. How could I know the things and not share them in order for others to heal?

All the answers are inside of you

It is true, each of us have some form of intuition, a deeper knowing of things. We just don’t always know how to be open to them. We don’t always know how to pay attention to them. We also don’t always know how to distinguish our intuition from all the other thoughts racing through our minds mingling with all the conditioning thoughts that society has drummed into our psyche’s.

Sometimes you need a little guidance. A voice that speaks through the fog of our minds. And that is what I am aiming to do. To help others along their path. To provide clarity and healing and a safe space for exploration and growth. Because we are all here to become the best versions of ourselves.

Are you an empath, an intuitive or clairsentient/ clairvoyant… or any clair for that matter… let us know about your experiences in the comments below.

To get some guidance or clarity on your situation book a reading with me here.

Or sign up with the form below for our free email course on self-worth or find out about our Remembering your worth e-course here.

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The power of meditation

Beata Bzura — Wed, 27 Feb 2019 08:34:20 +0000

Today meditation is a very popular remedy for stress and most people are aware of its multitude of other benefits. I was first introduced to meditation by my psychotherapist about 9 years ago as an aid to calm my emotions of marital turmoil and uncover my life traumas as prerequisite to healing. Later my sister suggested the use of mantra “I love you,” which I did.

Sending these words into the universe had surprising effects. At that point I was not very immersed into spirituality, but I was able to observe that after each time meditating this way another resolution to my situation came, even though some were very painful, leading me closer towards the end of the unwanted relationship.

After my divorce I used this mantra to calm my nerves. I was in deep distress for many years after ending my 20-year marriage. The feelings of guilt and shame were consuming me. I had a physical symptom from it, a sensation of a lump in my throat. Sometimes it was so strong that I had the feeling of suffocating. I did all kinds of tests to rule out any type of obstruction. There was nothing medically wrong. I concluded that it was my nerves that were causing spasm in my trachea, so I used meditation to reduce the symptoms.

I meditated whenever I felt stressed at first, but with time I grew to love being in this state of relaxation. I never followed any regime; I meditated when I felt the desire or need. Sometimes it would be several times a week for less than 30 minutes, other times it would be several times a day.

During the meditation I was able to bring my body into a deep sleep mode almost like numbness. Only my mind would operate during these states. Sometimes I would listen to a guided meditation, other times to meditative music. One time I achieved a state of total bliss with my face muscles twitching and tears streaming.

Another time my head would roll as if my muscles were relaxing and just letting my head go where it wanted to go. It was a little strange that my head would go down and come up on its own, but the movements were so gentle, and it felt so good (I have a neck problem) so I didn’t mind it and just let it be.

Throughout the many years since I started meditating, I had learned a lot more about spiritual topics. I indulged in books and youtube talks on self-love, power of thought, taking responsibility, being honest, vibrations, and many more but most of all the power of Love.

In my spiritual quest I came across a book of Joe Dispenza, dedicated to the phenomenon of self-healing. Through my spiritual growth I have realized that a lot of our chronic diseases come from unresolved emotions. Joe Dispenza saw the placebo effect as our inner power of healing and attempted to capture that power.

He conducted multiple controlled studies with heart and brain monitors attached to the meditating subjects and compared their waveforms with their results of healing. The prerequisite was to let go of old hurts and grudges and project feelings and thoughts of love and gratitude into the universe. His results were impressive. Multiple of his participants experienced immediate relief form serious diseases and some long-term changes.

When I came across this information, I felt like I won Megabucks. Everything finally made sense and since I had this shooting pain and numbness in my left arm for several weeks now, bad to the point that I couldn’t lift it (most likely from my slipped cervical discs), I decided to try it out on myself. I was already well practiced with eliciting the feeling of love and sending it into the universe, so I just needed Joe’s guidance in meditation.

I had such a powerful meditative experience that I was convinced I healed myself. I checked my arm, the pain was still there, but I wasn’t discouraged, it just needed time to heal, slipped discs don’t heal over night, after all.

It just happened that I had arranged a card reading for the next morning. I don’t usually go for psychic advice but for the longest time I was trying to figure out what to do with my life. I didn’t feel that nursing was agreeing with me any longer.

Fixing people surgically (I am a surgical nurse) was not the way to help them, according to my new understanding. I was probing all kinds of options against my gut feeling and finally I came up with an idea of organizing meditation retreats, which felt good. But I wanted to know for sure before I quit my job and dived into it.

The psychic pulled out several cards, none of which made sense to me. They were about words needing to be written, going beyond normal, open communication, increased awareness, and psychic insight. I was disappointed and ignored this information, the cards gave me no answer to my question. But after sharing my concern with the psychic and her assurance that meditation retreat was a great idea I went home skipping out of joy.

I meditated again that evening just to make sure I healed my arm for good. My heart was pounding, tears of love and gratitude were flowing, my head was going. Suddenly I realized that my whole body was moving out of its meditative posture. My head was moving energetically in the same pattern back and forth. It puzzled me, I never felt it that strong. Was it trying to tell me something? That’s when I remembered Ester Hicks and her writing with her nose. I pulled out piece of paper and followed my nose. I looked down to see what I had scribbled. It read “DID GOOD LOVING”.

A heat wave tinged with fear and excitement flushed through my body. Someone was watching me! Someone, who cared about my heart filled with love, which I deliberately grew starting with my beloved sons, expanding it to my family members, friends, acquaintances, my enemies and eventually to all the people. Now that love that filled my chest to the point of physical pain and made me care about everyone without exception brought me a big piece of truth – a conviction of God’s existence. This revelation began my awakening.

How did you get into meditating? Tell us about your experiences.

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