Rian Sprigh

Delusion of the Illusion

Rian Sprigh — Sun, 12 May 2019 14:19:48 +0000

One of the biggest spiritual propagandas out there is that we live in an illusion, a projection, a matrix. It has become the easiest way to escape responsibility and action, because you get to wave it off as an illusion and a reflection of your perception or someone else’s. The only illusion about this life is the one that you have no control over it. That life just happens. The illusion is unawareness.

Now, before I go further – I absolutely understand and agree that our experiences are formed by our perceptions and that our reactions are based on our level of awareness. Our view on life and how we experience things will be different depending on our spiritual, mental and emotional states. But this does not make life any less real.

Back to the propaganda. The “theory” of the Illusion is that we are experiencing this reality as a dream. That nothing in fact is real. I call BS. It is so easy to say this and believe it when you have nothing challenging going on in your life, no obligations, no loss, no financial struggles, and no health issues. It also becomes a great escape tool to get away from the afore mentioned problems. (Read about the trap of positivity here). Not paying attention to or taking care of the issues because “I am a spiritual being and these issues are just an illusion and a projection of low vibrations within myself”.

That is a half-truth. Yes, you are a spiritual being and yes issues, diseases, discomforts can and do manifest in our lives due to low vibrations. But that does not make it not real.

The same people convincing you that you are living in the matrix, where nothing is real, will also tell you that you are an infinite being who chose to incarnate on earth to have a physical experience to learn, grow and evolve as a soul. So what is it really now? An illusion or a physical experience?

Pain is not an illusion. Loss is not an illusion. Disease is not an illusion. War and famine are not illusions. We need to wake up from the illusion that we are just viewing bystanders of this life! We need to see the reality of what is going on in the world and stop turning a spiritual eye on everything and “Om” it out of our minds because it is too difficult for us to deal with. Feel your pain! Deal with your sickness! Grieve your loss! Watch the news and have sympathy and compassion for the beings affected by the atrocities of this world we as humans are destroying! The same way low vibrations can manifest disease in your body, high vibrations can manifest change in the issues of the world. Become aware!

As an example: when an energy has affected you on a physical level, it is as important to treat it on the physical level as well as the spiritual and energetic levels. Doctors are not bad. Modern medicine is not bad. They serve a very important role in our lives, as long as we retain the balance. As spiritual people we tend to get so caught up in the idea that modern medicine is evil. There needs to be a symbiotic relationship between the physical and the spiritual, together there can be full healing. There are still doctors out there who care about healing a person instead of just treating them like a transaction. Find one of these. Allow them to take care of your physical discomforts and diseases while you work on the energetic levels of it.

By becoming aware, first of ourselves, and accepting the physical things around us and that happen to us as real, we can start seeing how and why we attract it on an energetic level. That way, through awareness, we can recognize the energy pattern and work with it before it affects us on the physical level. But sometimes things also just happen. External factors we did not call in with our vibration but still affects us negatively. That is when we need to heal the energetic impact caused by the event and return to balance. But as long as we believe that nothing in life is real, we will never be able to control it.

Once we are aware of our energy and how it affects us on a physical level, we can also learn how it can affect our surroundings. Our homes, offices, relationships, neighborhoods, countries and the world. If, as consciously aware people, we accept reality as it is and accept the authority we have over it, we can change the world! But we need to stop “spiritualizing” the very real problems, first within ourselves and then in the world.

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Energetic Consciousness Expansion

Rian Sprigh — Tue, 30 Apr 2019 10:44:24 +0000

Consciousness and energy. Words we hear so often, but what is it? A driving force of the soul? Something that needs to grow in order for us to evolve? Could it be explained in a less esoteric way? Awareness… Consciousness is nothing more than awareness – awareness of self, awareness of what is going on around you and awareness of how it affects you as a being. So where does energy fit in to the equation?

Energy is the language of awareness. In order for us to increase our awareness, we need to increase our sensitivity towards energy. Learning to feel the subtle vibrations of your body, mind and soul, of the world around you, the world beyond our physical senses, the elements of nature, the song of the cosmos, is the only way to become more aware. Aware of what is inside of you and how to access it. Aware of how your surroundings impact you and how you can change its energy. Aware of the power of all of creation and how to harness it to master yourself and live in total harmony with the universe.

The energy of consciousness can be broken down in to three aspects: sub-conscious, conscious and super-conscious. The conscious part is, of course, what we are aware of currently. The sub-conscious is the parts within ourselves which we are yet to access and become aware of to bring to our conscious mind. The super-conscious is the energy outside of ourselves which we are yet to access and become aware of; also referred to as cosmic or god consciousness. The key thing to remember here is that though they are described as separate entities, it is all just one consciousness; it is only your level of awareness that makes the difference.

I would like now to share a practice that has come to me that helps to increase the energetic connection to the sub- and superconscious and through the increased energetic connection increase your awareness of these in order to bring it into the conscious mind.

You will need a space where you will be undisturbed for around 15 to 20 minutes. Prepare the space in any way you feel fit and comfortable; light a candle, incense, spray aroma essences, play soft non-vocal music, or even just nothing, just you. Sit in a comfortable position and just focus on your breathing, allowing your mind to calm down and become still.

Place your consciousness into your heart center and just become aware of this space for a while, feeling the energy of you center. Now slowly start to move your consciousness down and along your spine right to the base and just keep it there. Take your time to do this and feel your consciousness move downward.

Start moving your consciousness out of your base, down toward the earth. Through the surface you are sitting on, the ground beneath you, entering the earth. Take your time. Move it into the earth, feel the richness of the earth. The unseen life, microorganisms, minerals, feel the energy of the crystals and the subterranean lakes. Move deeper in to the earth, feeling your consciousness gravitate toward the center.

Take your time.

When you reach the center of the earth, the burning core, allow your consciousness to penetrate it to the very center and wrap your consciousness around the core of the earth, anchoring yourself there. Take as long as you need to feel this connection solidify. Then, with a single breath, bring your attention back to your heart space.

Now, move your consciousness up your spine towards your crown and stop once you reach it. Take your time and hold it there for a while. Then move it out of your crown and upward, through the roof above you and out in to the sky, feeling the freedom of the open air. Feel how everything is connected through the air. Keep moving higher, slowly.

Upward, higher, reaching for the heavens. Feel the pace picking up as you exit the atmosphere of earth, moving through space, ever upward. Passing at the speed of light now, reaching higher dimensions of light, seeing the colors of the cosmos, feeling the power of the stars. Until you reach the very center of the universe. The core of creation and pure potential. Slow down again, penetrating this core and wrapping your consciousness around it. Anchor yourself there. Take as much time as you need to solidify this connection. And with a single breath, bring yourself back in to your heart space.

Become aware of the channel you have created from your heart down in to the earth and from your heart up in to the cosmos. Now feel the energy of the deep earth rising up this channel and in to your heart. Feel the energy of the cosmos coming down the channel you have created and pouring in to your heart space. Allow these two energies to come together in your heart, starting to swirl together in to a sphere, dancing with each other in your heart. Let the sphere of energy grow as more energy is being fed in to it from below and from above. Growing and expanding from your heart space. Filling your torso. Growing bigger, moving through your body and your head. Moving outward, through your mental body, through your emotional body, through your spiritual body. Activating and filling these spaces with the energy of the deep earth and the high cosmos. Allow it to expand as much as you can. Feel the energy. Get to know it. And when you feel you have done enough, slowly contract the energy back in to your heart, focusing on your breathing and bringing yourself back to your physical reality.

Take a few moments and just sit in this space until you are fully integrated in to yourself again.

How this practice works: the journey into the earth takes you down through the denser parts of your energy, into your subconscious. The journey up takes you through your higher energy levels and into your superconscious. Bringing the energy up from the earth and down from the cosmos into your heart, creates an energetic channel for your sub-conscious energies to start activating and moving in to your conscious mind, equally for the energy from the superconscious coming down.

The expansion of the two energies together through all parts of yourself, teaches your consciousness what the energies of your sub- and superconscious feels like, creating the awareness of it, so that it can recognize it and integrate it into the conscious mind.

This starts a profound awakening process and a great space for your spirit and soul to grow as the hidden parts of you start to come out. Your innate abilities activating and getting stronger. Your core wounds being brought to your conscious mind to be healed. Read how to heal with Earth and Water (Part 1) and Air and Fire (Part 2) in our healing with the elements series.

Awareness of all aspects of self.

With time and practice, you will learn to make this connection in a matter of seconds and can use it in many ways. As an example, I make this connection before doing any form of energy work or channeling.

May we become ever more aware of ourselves, until we all become aware that we are one self.

Have you tried this method? How did it work for you? Tell us in the comments below.

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Healing with the elements Part 2 – Air and Fire

Rian Sprigh — Wed, 24 Apr 2019 08:58:05 +0000

Air & Fire is the second part of our 2 Part series on Healing with the elements. Read part one here. We all know these elements, but do we know how they affect us and how we can use them in our daily lives to restore balance and bring healing to ourselves and our environment? As an Andean Solar Priest, we are taught about the intricate relationship between the elements of nature as well as their influence upon us as humans. In this 2 part series I would love to share a few basic insights based on the teachings of the Sacred Andean Tradition.

AIR – Purifies us

Take a deep breath, let it go; you just experienced life. Something autonomous we barely pay attention to keeps us alive, every minute of every day, even when we sleep – imagine the power it can have if we work with it consciously!

Air is life, just think about the breath of life. It carries within it the vital oxygen that fuels our cells. But when something is exposed to air in the wrong way it will be killed, dried out until it becomes nothing but dust. It can move dynamically, lifting things off the ground, causing instability, breaking trees, shattering windows. It also blows the seeds across the fields, carrying them to a resting place to sprout and grow.

This element governs our mental energy and communication. From a soft whisper to the loudest scream, air is needed to initiate the vibration of the sound as well as to carry it over to someone’s ears. Our thoughts, like the wind, are sometimes soft and quiet, other times gusty and strong, or even spiraling out of control like a tornado. Our thoughts too can create instability in our lives, break and shatter us. Our words too can break and shatter those around us. All from the air we breathe.

He is wise and teaches us the value of silence. He can carry our messages across the earth, across worlds even. When our mind becomes anxious and loud, he can bring us calmness. When our thoughts become impure, he can blow through us, lifting the dirt and debris from our minds. When we have ideas and wishes we want to bring in to the world, he can carry these seeds across the fields to find the right place for it to sprout to life.

Walk around and become aware of the air. There does not need to be any wind for you to work with this element – every breath moves the air. Focus on your breathing and feel the air fill every part of you. Feel it swirl through your mind, purifying your thoughts, calming your anxiety and clearing your mind, returning you to focus. Feel it move through your body, charging every cell with its gift of life, reenergizing you at a cellular level.

Ask it to carry your messages to those you wish to connect to, send the seeds of your thoughts and ideas to their place of germination. Be conscious of his presence all around you and ask him to move through your being, purifying you on all levels. Open your heart to him with love and thank him for the work that has been done.

FIRE – Sanctifies us

What a magical element. He can trap you in a gaze for long periods, stilling your mind and opening your heart. Fire burns within us as passion, ambition, purpose as well as rage, hatred and vengeance, all of which can become very dangerous to us and those around us.

Our sun, life giving source of energy and heat, governing all aspects of vitality and fertility on our planet. He brings the time to sow and the time to reap, the time to be lively and enjoy, as well as the time to become still and rest. Anything it touches changes completely. Burnt to ash, melted into a different form, scarred. Nothing can be the same after the sanctifying touch of fire.

He transmutes energy, consuming the life force of what he touches and sending it back in to the pool of creation – back to pure potential. On a physical level, our body’s internal fire is very fragile – a perfect temperature needs to be maintained for our organism to function properly. One degree warmer or colder and our body becomes ill.

By having our fire element burn too high or too low can make us emotionally, mentally and spiritually ill too. Too much passion or ambition can drive us crazy with ego, burning away all the other things in our lives because we are chasing too much. When it burns down low and we lose our purpose, we spiral downwards very fast, losing the will and energy to live. When the fire burns out, in just an instant, life will cease to exist.

Become still under the sun, close your eyes and turn your face towards him. Feel the energy carried in his heat, his light, entering you, shining in to your core. Allow yourself to be filled with his fire and allow him to sanctify you, transmuting all parts of you that are ready to be set free, to become pure potential again.

Let him bring balance to your fire element, controlling your passion and ambition to be focused without losing touch with the rest of your world. If you are burning low, without drive and passion, ask him to reignite the life within you to move you forward. Like a plant photosynthesizes, absorb the energy of the sun and allow it to make you grow in all aspects of your being. When you feel you have done enough, give thanks to the eternal father, fire and breathe yourself back in to your body.

These descriptions and practices have barely scraped the surface of how the Elements operate in our existence and how we can form relationships with them, accessing and using their energy and teachings in our day to day lives to help us become masters of ourselves, but they bring a starting point of what can be a beautiful relationship with the Elements and yourself. Let Nature teach you, after all, it is what created you… us… everything.

As in Part 1 of this series, these descriptions and practices have barely scraped the surface of how the Elements operate in our existence and how we can form relationships with them, accessing and using their energy and teachings in our day to day lives to help us become masters of ourselves, but they bring a starting point of what can be a beautiful relationship with the Elements and yourself. Let Nature teach you, after all, it is what created you… us… everything.

How do you work to heal with the elements? Tell us about it in the comments.

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Healing with the elements Part 1 – Earth and Water

Rian Sprigh — Sun, 21 Apr 2019 08:53:58 +0000

Earth & Water – we all know them, but do we know how they affect us and how we can use them in our daily lives to restore balance and bring healing to ourselves and our environment? As an Andean Solar Priest, we are taught about the intricate relationship between the elements of nature as well as their influence upon us as humans. In this 2 part series I would love to share a few basic insights based on the teachings of the Sacred Andean Tradition. Read Part 2 here.

EARTH – Transforms us

Beautiful mother and bountiful provider. The Earth brings forth everything physical in our lives. She governs our physical reality, like a mother, giving us shelter and food, clothing us and allowing us to grow through her nourishment. Anything tangible came from this earth, no matter how much it may have been altered or modified by humans after taking it from the earth, it is from the earth. When we think of the Earth in this way, we can learn to call on her energy to help us navigate and change our physical situation and transform it into something more supportive. The same way she can break down an old leaf and turn it into nourishing food for another plant, she can take the energies that no longer serve us and transform it into something that can feed us.

Within our bodies, we carry all the same components that make up the earth; vitamins, minerals, metals, all up to atomic level, we are made up out of the same composition of our mother earth. So when we are in lack of any of these, with practice, we can absorb these from her to restore health and balance to our organism.

We can draw energy from others (which could be seen as energy vampirism), as well as the physical world around us. To start working with the Earth in an energetic way, go out to her and make contact with her. Take off your shoes and sit in a position where the soles of your feet touch the earth and you can lay the palms of your hands on her too, or lay down with your shirt lifted up and make contact with your navel. Then, start talking to her, telling her your worries, fears and secrets, your ailments and the things that aren’t right in your reality.

Ask her to absorb the energy of all these things from you and feel her take it. Listen to her answer as she takes this energy and starts transforming it, changing it into something beneficial and nurturing for you and returning it back to you. Thank her and take a few deep breaths and continue with your day. You will feel much lighter and energized. Doing this regularly will form a powerful, sacred bond with you and the Mother.

WATER – Cleanses us

Formed from earth, birthed from water. From our most vulnerable state as a fetus, until the day we depart from this form, we are dependent on this element.

Our entire organism is nothing more than a compilation of tiny sacks of water – cells. She flows, she freezes and she flies – as do we, with our emotions. The element of water is directly tied to our emotional state and expression.

When we become disconnected, depressed, or struggle with grief, we tend to freeze over, become hard and cold to the world. When we fall in love, or we become fired up with passion, we boil and become gaseous, flying high, out of touch with reality. We go through storms of anger, emotional high and low tides, tranquil flowing times and sometimes confusing rapids. In our body, she gives signals of our emotional pains through our kidneys and our liver, even our blood. We need to pay close attention to these messages so we can work with her.

When we feel emotionally stuck like a stagnant pool, frozen like a block of ice, or floating like gaseous clouds, we can work with the element of water to return to balance, tranquility and flow. She will wash over our spirit, rinse through our soul and clean out all the muck that is keeping us from clarity.

Find a stream of flowing water and sit by it, you can even enter the stream if you are comfortable, and face downstream, seeing the water flowing away from you. Visualize and/or feel the water coming from behind and washing over you, through you, and away from you and see all your mucky energy being washed away, downstream, far away from you. Feel the water rinse through every cell in your body and every vibration of your energy, cleansing you fully.

Ask the water to bring back flow and tranquility to you. To melt your frozen parts and bring down the rains from your floating clouds. Ask her to restore balance to the water aspect of your being. Thank her for what she has done for you and take a few deep breaths to come back to yourself. Once a strong relationship is formed with the Water in this way, you will be able to work with water in any form, be it from a tap, a shower, a pool, the ocean. Just keep love and respect in your heart and she will cleanse you.

What is your favourite way for healing with the elements? Tell us in the comments.

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Men and their Emotions

Rian Sprigh — Thu, 28 Mar 2019 08:32:17 +0000

“Real men cry” – How many times have you heard an expression like this? Have you ever put any thought in to just how wrong such expressions are? Real men do this, real men don’t do that. Enough already with this “real” man thing. The only thing that makes a man a real man is his biology. The fact that he has a penis. Not how he presents himself, not his sexual orientation and definitely not how he chooses to express his emotions.

As a global society, we are to blame for men not wanting show vulnerability and express their emotions, because for eons men have been chastised for showing their emotions, humiliated and made out as “less of a man” for doing so. How much subconscious pressure has that created? I sometimes wonder how much of an “intelligent” species we are because we imprison ourselves with these standards and norms that hold us back from reaching our full potential and highest expression of ourselves.

There are so many expectations set for men when it comes to emotionally difficult times that we sometimes forget that they too are human with the full range of emotions that humans can experience. But they are so conditioned to always “stay strong” and “take care of their families” that they reach the point where they either freeze up and become completely numb to any sort of emotions (including the warmer emotions of love and joy) or they become walking time bombs of bottled up anger and sadness that eventually explode into derailing depression – because expressing themselves as a normal human with emotions makes them weak. Is it worth it?

Imagine a world where men are allowed to openly talk about what they are feeling and going through. Not being conditioned from childhood that “boys don’t cry”, “stop being such a girl about it”, “take it like a man”, but are instead supported and protected during their vulnerable times, allowed to express their emotions in any way they feel fit to and to work through their emotions and heal the parts of them that get triggered.

How can we support men to unlearn this conditioning? How do we help them break free of this emotional prison they are in? This is probably the most difficult thing to do, so best we at least start by raising the new generation of men in an emotionally safe and supportive environment. But for the adults, we need to start with supporting them when they try to express themselves. Not to make fun of them when they try to show love and affection, making them feel shy or like a child. Appreciate the small ways they express these higher emotions. Accept it and thank them for it and slowly they will come out more and more – but if they are going to be met with shame and being made fun of for trying; I guarantee it will stop.

As for the down times, when they are struggling with sadness, depression or grief, it is important to let them express it in any way they feel fit, without validating their emotions, without telling them how much of a good job they are doing expressing themselves and definitely without telling them how they should be doing it. Babying a grown man through difficult emotions will let him retract deeper into himself. Instead, simply acknowledge that they are hurting and make them feel secure by holding space for them and allowing them to be vulnerable; allowing them to work through these emotions in their own way – even if it means just being quiet and cold. If they feel supported and loved when they internalize their lower emotions, they will eventually feel safe enough to express them externally as well. But being told they “need to let it out” is as good as cementing that emotional door shut for them.

For those men who know they struggle with expressing their emotions and want to consciously work on it, there are many avenues they can explore for help and support. Counselling with a psychotherapist is a great start for example. To have a space of no judgement, talking to a stranger who doesn’t know them or anyone they know, may allow them to just start pouring out their internal dialogue with their troubles, leading to understanding of their patterns and then being guided to navigate these feelings.

There are holistic techniques and practices that can help with emotional sensitivity and expression too; great examples are Reiki, meditation and mindfulness practices that can help them open up to themselves and learn healthy ways of expressing and managing emotions. Becoming mindful of your emotions, constantly aware of and in touch with how you are feeling, makes it a great deal easier to deal with your emotions as you understand where they come from and can therefor control where they go.

The key lies in that we need to allow men to be vulnerable without being rushed, made fun of or judged. We need to change the way we address things if we want to allow growth and evolution to take place. Let us rephrase what it is we want to portray so that we may speak life! It takes strength to allow yourself to be vulnerable and it is in true vulnerability that you open up to your highest potential and expression.

Are you a man learning to express your emotions? Tell us about your experiences in the comments below.

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Narcissists and Empaths: Cut from the same cloth?

Rian Sprigh — Thu, 21 Mar 2019 08:19:24 +0000

**Note from the editor: Narcissism is a mental condition only diognosable by mental health professionals. While some of us, if not all of us, sometimes display narcissistic tendencies these diagnosis should only be made by qualified persons. Now, let’s get on to the article…

In today’s day and age we are surrounded by so many people with narcissistic behavior that we probably do not even realize it, because we are living in a world where people are literally being paid to be narcissistic and self-involved. Then we are also living in a day and age where more and more emotionally sensitive people are awakening to their true potential as empaths, here to help people navigate through the emotions of the rapidly evolving consciousness. So what happens when the Empath meets the Narcissist?

I can honestly tell you that there are very few things that really trigger me and gets my water boiling, but one of these very few things is narcissism. As an empath and healer, I can just not understand how a person could be like that? You know, like in the cartoons when they are running ridiculous mathematical formulas or something and their eyes start rolling in their heads with smoke coming out of their ears – that is me trying to understand a narcissist.

I get defensive and angry, shooting from the hip, trying to disarm them and making a fool of myself in the process; like I have no control over my emotional reactions whatsoever. It takes a lot of self-control for me to remain calm and not become reactive when I am around narcissists.

I can understand people with over-inflated egos, who suffer from deep wounding of emotional trauma and then put up this façade of strength, great self-confidence and big talk about themselves, but narcissists are so different. Most of them do not have self-confidence issues at all, neither do they have self-worth issues; they are very confident and know their value and are very happy to make you aware of it. They are always surrounded by many people, lots of friends and they love crowds. They automatically become the center of attention when they walk in to a room because their presence demands attention; like a raging fire, you can’t help but to look.

They lure people in with their magnetic personalities, never revealing their full personality, never showing that raging fire, because then people will show caution from the start. No, they attract people with sweetness and confidence, taking people “under their wing” and “protecting them”, building their following, adding to their fuel stocks to keep the fire going. They understand a person very well, they can read people like open books, getting them to confide in them so they can trust them very easily, using their secrets as a way to keep them captive and close. They need these people around them to be praised constantly, fueling their fire with awe, but they will never allow people to express any of their own deep emotions, sadness or hurt, because that does not feed them and so if they are not being praised, they are quick to point out everyone’s flaws and cast them away as if they are the bad people, the ones doing something wrong, simply because they are not feeding the narcissistic fire. So their fire starts burning stronger, hotter, burning more and more people around them until one day they burn out – left with no one around them to pick them up; the sad ending of narcissists. It is inevitable.

But why do most empaths have an issue with this type of person? What makes it so hard for an empath to connect to a narcissist and help them? Compare the following paragraph with the one above:

Empaths attract people with their warm personalities, often remaining very shy and introverted as they struggle to open up to others as to not burden them. Their openness and understanding brings many people who come and seek advice, or just someone to talk to, because they know that they are safe and heard in the presence of the empath. Empaths take on the emotions of others to truly understand what they are going through and help them navigate through these emotions to come to resolution and peace, encouraging them to fully express and experience all aspects of themselves. They lovingly point people in the direction of finding, understanding and loving the parts of themselves that need healing. They become the cheerleader and motivate people to become better versions of themselves. Through this they become surrounded by loving people who understand boundaries, love themselves and love those around them.

So when these two come together, there is an unspoken power struggle that erupts: the narcissist trying to draw praise from the empath and the empath seeing the harm the narcissist is causing themselves and others and trying to get through to the narcissist to help. The only way an empath can help a person is if the person allows them in, knowing that they are hurt and in need of help. Narcissists never see themselves as hurt or hurting others and so will never accept an offer of help as they “see no need for it”, so the empath is stuck seeing a train that is going to derail with no way to help – and this is deeply disturbing to an empath. Here are some ideas on how empaths can protect themselves.

So what can an empath do in order to be of service and help narcissists and those they affect? No amount of pushing is going to get the narcissist to open up and accept that they are in fact in need of help. The best thing you can do for them and those around them is to wrap the narcissist in love, with the intention that this covering of love will contain their fire so that it does not hurt people around them, but at the same time that it will reflect back to them their behavior so that may see and wake up to the truth of their situation, and so come to their own realization that they need to make changes – and then the empath can step in and do the work.

Are you an empath? How do you handle narcissists? Tell us about your experience with narcissists in the comments.

Sign up for our free mini-course on self worth by filling in your details below, or take a look at our Remembering your worth e-course here.

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The trap of Positivity

Rian Sprigh — Tue, 19 Feb 2019 09:25:07 +0000

Is it possible to be too positive? Or is it perhaps negative to be too positive? Can a positive attitude be harmful? Most definitely.

What are you trying to hide behind that ever-glowing smile? What are you running away from? Stop denying it – it is not possible to always be positive. It is one thing to have a positive approach or outlook on life, but it is distinctly different from trying to convince yourself (and others) that you are an ever-positive person with nothing bad affecting you in life.

Why are we not allowed to have a bad day? Why are we afraid of admitting that something is not fine? What do we achieve by turning a blind eye to what is happening in the world around us? All for the sake of staying in a “positive environment” – or a fake one?

What are we afraid of? That if we acknowledge the “negative” things in life they will gain power? The thing is, by avoiding the negative things, we become unable to change it. You need to know the name of your enemy if you are to defeat it.

If you want to live an authentic life, you need to embrace all of life – the good and the bad. Don’t give up your authenticity, your humanness, for the sake of being seen as an always-positive person. I have so much more respect for someone who can break down and cry because life just sucks for that moment; being willing to lose the battle in order to win the war.

It is in the darkness of the shadow that you will find the weapon needed to defeat the enemy. Embrace the chaos of life. Embrace the sadness. Embrace the pain. Embrace the injustice. Face it, head on and call it by its name. Allow it to punch you, push you, throw you and step on you, because until you know its routine, power and origin, you will not be able to overcome it.

But you cannot do this if you choose to focus only on the positive, to only look for the silver lining. You will not be able to experience the light that brings the silver lining of the dark cloud until you allow that cloud to empty all its rain.

We are often told to use positive affirmations, mantras, to help us manifest or overcome bad situations. But do they really work? Or is it just a band aid on a wound that actually needs stitches?

Let’s break down the term “positive affirmations”:

Positive – Good, hopeful, nurturing, enjoyable circumstances. These are all synonyms or attributes of what we would consider positive.

Affirmation, which is to affirm – to state as truth and to support.

So when we create a positive affirmation based on a negative circumstance, what are we really affirming? Are we perhaps reinforcing the negativity? We are after all affirming that situation.

Let me give you a scenario: I hate my job. Like really hate it. So in order to help me cope with it and try to change it, I come up with a positive affirmation “My job is nurturing, supporting and makes me feel great”. I use it every day and it gives me some hope, but by the end of the day I get home frustrated and angry. That is because my “positive affirmation” is based on my negative experience, so instead of improving my situation, I am just reinforcing, affirming, the fact that I hate my job and trying to convince myself otherwise.

Positive affirmations need to be based on reality and not act as a distraction or something we use to try and convince ourselves. So a better “positive affirmation” for the above scenario could be “I am unhappy with my job, but I am open to finding ways to love it”. This way, you acknowledge the reality of the negative and you are calling in change, not just trying to convince yourself that everything is alright.

Positive affirmation, based on positive experience, work wonders in helping us focusing on and manifesting our goals. I will give an example of this:

I love my job and what I do, so I create a positive affirmation to help me excel in it such as: “My job is becoming more rewarding and fulfilling”, again affirming the reality (“becoming more rewarding” suggest that it already is rewarding) and calling in change.

So when creating affirmations, we need to affirm the reality and then change the energy.

We need to accept the duality of our existence. There is no running away from it. As long as you are here on this planet, there will be positive and negative experiences, on varying levels, until the day you die. No amount of ignorance will lead to bliss. But when you embrace the totality of life, you can turn the negativity in to positivity. Growing the light in your life so that you can handle the hard times better.

Face the negativity more easily. Bring about positive change. We need to transmute and transform the negative energies in to positivity and the only way to do that is to acknowledge, accept and experience them. They won’t just go away. Energy cannot be destroyed, it can only change form and the only way you can change it, is to work with it. Love your negativity.

Comment below to tell us how you embrace the good and the bad and which affirmations work for you to acknowledge reality while inviting in change. Or sign up for our self-worth email course.

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The Shadow of modern-day “Spirituality”

Rian Sprigh — Fri, 08 Feb 2019 09:06:06 +0000

Is the “spiritual” community turning in to the same thing that drove people away from other institutions to seek spirituality in the first place? My opinion: absolutely, yes!

We are currently in a phase where spirituality, which used to be seen as the free-spirited, all loving way of life, has become just as indoctrinated, judgmental and controlling as the religious institutions of the world. How have we gotten to the point where “my spiritual path is more advanced and powerful than your spiritual path”? Why have we allowed the bastardization of sacred, ancient knowledge for the sake of “enlightenment”? At which point do we stop and say, “Enough is enough. We need to return to balance”?

In my opinion, a big shadow is being cast by the spiritual communities which is trapping people in a false sense of enlightenment and humility. There is a distortion of “truth” and what it means. People are using “standing in my truth” as an excuse to be nasty, judgmental, rude, disconnected, using intellectually learned spiritual practices to dismiss people’s feelings in times of grief; “Accept it as it is. The universe has its plan. It was not meant to be.” Where is the compassion? We are still human and even though there are “higher perspectives” of the bad things that happen in our lives, we are still allowed to feel the human part of ourselves and deal with our trauma in a very physical way. It is through our spiritual practices that we can deal with it with higher understanding and heal it instead of turning the trauma into wounding and victimhood.

People’s spirituality is being “measured” by what they wear, what they eat, how many courses they attend, which “gurus” they follow and so much more. Is this what it is all about? “How can you still eat meat?” I fully understand the impact that different types of food have on our body and especially our energy, but just because I choose to still eat meat does not mean I cannot be on a fully invested journey of self-exploration and spiritual understanding of myself. And this right here is the issue; there is too much focus on who is how spiritual that it has almost turned in to a competition to see who can be the most spiritual.

It leads to people taking course after course, frantically studying as many different practices as possible in order to stay ahead of the race for spiritual enlightenment. Never getting time to fully integrate and experience the impact that that knowledge can have in their lives. Everyone is a master these days, a guru, a yogi, a shaman. After how long of studying and practicing this particular practice or tradition do they claim to be a master? One week? One month? One year? Have they even fully integrated the understanding of what they are teaching, preaching and advocating? I don’t think so.

Will you be comfortable with an inexperienced surgeon operating on you or would you prefer an experienced surgeon with great tenure and respect in their field? So why not give the same consideration for your spiritual growth and well-being?

But why is this happening? There has to be a reason for all of this? After all, everything happens for a reason, right? Of course. And here is my understanding of it:

We have gone through a massive shift in consciousness which has awakened latent energies within a huge amount of people, leaving them with a hunger for self-discovery. With a lack of preparation for this energy, they start searching and find some courses and practices that really help put into perspective what they are going through. This is followed by a great excitement to help everyone else around them find this same joy and love that they have discovered for themselves – a genuine sincerity to share this profound awakening with others so that they too can feel that way – and that is when the focus-shift from self to others happen. I myself got trapped in this focus-shift, so therefore I have a lot of compassion for the situation and therefore I call this a phase that we are going through now.

Due to the influx of energies, we have just ended up with thousands of newly awakened seekers who are currently in this phase where they want to learn as much as possible and have everyone else experience the bliss of self-discovery as well; so until this “new generation” of spiritual seekers move beyond the focus-shift and get back in to their own selves, we will continue to see this “self-centered selflessness”.

It is up to the “old generation” of seekers to now hold the space, globally, for this period. Guiding with love and compassion those who are currently moving through this phase. Teaching them, not by books or courses, but by action and example, what it is to live a spiritual life. A life of self-discovery, a journey inward. Encouraging them to learn and study, but also to take time to fully understand and integrate. Encouraging them to help others, but reminding them that they cannot help everyone. Encouraging them to teach and pass on their wisdom, but helping them understand that not everyone is meant to learn and discover in the same way. Encouraging them to see the beauty, truth and power in certain practices and traditions, but reminding them that no one way is superior to another, what works for one person may not work for another. Showing them that one can reach the farthest expansions of Creation while still fully experiencing and enjoying a life here on Mother Earth and all the amazing physical things she has to offer.

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Sitting with your Shadow

Rian Sprigh — Mon, 28 Jan 2019 09:00:32 +0000

We often hear and read about “shadow work”, or that person is “operating from their shadow”, “you need to integrate your shadow”, “I am struggling with my shadow” etc, but what does that even mean?

To understand the “shadow”, we need to start by turning to our physical, natural reality and ask: “What is a shadow?” A shadow is a disruption in the flow of light, casting a visual copy of the perceived object form the angle of the direction of light. Though shadows from the same object can differ in size and sometimes seem like a totally different shape, the object source of the shadow remains the same, but it is the intensity of and angle from which the light is shone that changes the appearance of the shadow. It is only in the total absence of light that a shadow does not exist – in darkness, a whole other topic.

Everything in our physical existence can cast a shadow when a light source is introduced. I am sure you have heard the saying that a flame does not have a shadow, signifying that by being a source of light you will not have a shadow. Yet, when you cast a light source on a burning candle at the right density or brightness and angle, even a flame will cast a shadow. What am I getting at you ask? That even a light source can cast a shadow when another light source is introduced, so no matter how “spiritually evolved” you may become, shadows will always come up to be dealt with.

So how does this apply to the spiritual aspect of our shadow?

Most of us have become so distracted in life; occupied with the mundane tasks of living, being part of society, living up to expectations, being what our families, jobs, communities, partners, children etc need us to be, that we never get to see ourselves, nor notice our shadows, until a light source is introduced – very often through a harsh life experience that shakes the flaps off of our eyes, but sometimes through a natural deep inner awakening.

We see ourselves for the first time, start to get to know ourselves, our true selves, seeing all parts of us as the Light shines upon us. And then we notice it, cast to the side in a shape that seems familiar yet unrecognizable – our shadow. It makes us see ourselves from a different perspective and angle. It makes us think differently about who we are and what we are going through in that moment. Sometimes making us act totally out of character or unaligned with good moral values.

Picture this situation: Your best friend of many years rubs you up the wrong way and suddenly that love that you feel for them feels a lot less like love and a lot more like anger, hate or vengeance. Something that has never happened before, so why now? This is the Light making you aware of the shadow part of your Love. It shines upon you, casting a shadow and using this quarrel to draw your attention to it. Acknowledge this shadow. How big is it? What is the light source casting this shadow? Is the light coming from your past? From your childhood? Does it have to do with your value and how you are perceived? How does this shadow make you feel? What aspect of the quarrel caused this light source to cast this shadow? Was it a word? An expression? Sometimes the light source comes through meditation, a healing session or another person shining in our lives and making us vulnerably aware of ourselves.

Now comes the time for decision: am I going to act on this shadow and roll with the anger, hatred and vengeance? Or am I going to act on the light source and heal this part of myself that is calling my attention? By having an honest awareness of yourself and a willingness to master your shadows instead of acting on them, you will be able to acknowledge when this happens and make the right decision – following the light to resolve the source of this issue instead of acting out and retaliating to your friend causing irreparable damage to a loving relationship.

The size and shape of the shadow and thus the difficulty or intensity needed to work with it will vary on the light source. Again, let’s turn to our natural surroundings to understand this a bit better: When a light source is weak or rather far away, the shadow will seem very dull, sometimes not even totally visible. When the light source is closer and brighter, the shadow is denser and more clearly visible. When the light source comes from a lower angle, the shadow appears long and stretched out and equal to the opposite, from a higher angle, the shadow will appear shorter and smaller. If the light source is very close, the shadow will be much, much bigger than the object itself.

The same happens with our shadow aspects. It depends on the intensity, angle and proximity the light source is coming from that will determine how dark and big this shadow will be in your life. And as we work on the light source to understand what is causing the shadow, we start integrating it. Pulling it closer to us until we can absorb it in to us and heal that part of us fully. Keep in mind that as you work on this light source, as it moves closer to you to integrate, the shadow moves along with it; changing in size and density, affecting your surroundings in different ways until you have integrated and healed the light source and the shadow disappears.

This is what it means to work with your shadow. Understanding that you will cast a shadow as long as you seek Light in your life and then being open and honest with yourself when that shadow is cast to see what light source it is coming from, so that you may integrate it and that shadow will no longer be cast, but instead become part of your being as wisdom and power to propel you forward on your path of soul evolution. It is not about “integrating your shadow” but instead integrating what is causing the shadow. Seeing the shadow as a teacher instead of an enemy. Knowing that this process will continue, always, until you yourself become integrated in to the Ultimate Light.

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