**Note from the editor: Narcissism is a mental condition only diognosable by mental health professionals. While some of us, if not all of us, sometimes display narcissistic tendencies these diagnosis should only be made by qualified persons. Now, let’s get on to the article…
In today’s day and age we are surrounded by so many people with narcissistic behavior that we probably do not even realize it, because we are living in a world where people are literally being paid to be narcissistic and self-involved. Then we are also living in a day and age where more and more emotionally sensitive people are awakening to their true potential as empaths, here to help people navigate through the emotions of the rapidly evolving consciousness. So what happens when the Empath meets the Narcissist?
I can honestly tell you that there are very few things that really trigger me and gets my water boiling, but one of these very few things is narcissism. As an empath and healer, I can just not understand how a person could be like that? You know, like in the cartoons when they are running ridiculous mathematical formulas or something and their eyes start rolling in their heads with smoke coming out of their ears – that is me trying to understand a narcissist.
I get defensive and angry, shooting from the hip, trying to disarm them and making a fool of myself in the process; like I have no control over my emotional reactions whatsoever. It takes a lot of self-control for me to remain calm and not become reactive when I am around narcissists.
I can understand people with over-inflated egos, who suffer from deep wounding of emotional trauma and then put up this façade of strength, great self-confidence and big talk about themselves, but narcissists are so different. Most of them do not have self-confidence issues at all, neither do they have self-worth issues; they are very confident and know their value and are very happy to make you aware of it. They are always surrounded by many people, lots of friends and they love crowds. They automatically become the center of attention when they walk in to a room because their presence demands attention; like a raging fire, you can’t help but to look.
They lure people in with their magnetic personalities, never revealing their full personality, never showing that raging fire, because then people will show caution from the start. No, they attract people with sweetness and confidence, taking people “under their wing” and “protecting them”, building their following, adding to their fuel stocks to keep the fire going. They understand a person very well, they can read people like open books, getting them to confide in them so they can trust them very easily, using their secrets as a way to keep them captive and close. They need these people around them to be praised constantly, fueling their fire with awe, but they will never allow people to express any of their own deep emotions, sadness or hurt, because that does not feed them and so if they are not being praised, they are quick to point out everyone’s flaws and cast them away as if they are the bad people, the ones doing something wrong, simply because they are not feeding the narcissistic fire. So their fire starts burning stronger, hotter, burning more and more people around them until one day they burn out – left with no one around them to pick them up; the sad ending of narcissists. It is inevitable.
But why do most empaths have an issue with this type of person? What makes it so hard for an empath to connect to a narcissist and help them? Compare the following paragraph with the one above:
Empaths attract people with their warm personalities, often remaining very shy and introverted as they struggle to open up to others as to not burden them. Their openness and understanding brings many people who come and seek advice, or just someone to talk to, because they know that they are safe and heard in the presence of the empath. Empaths take on the emotions of others to truly understand what they are going through and help them navigate through these emotions to come to resolution and peace, encouraging them to fully express and experience all aspects of themselves. They lovingly point people in the direction of finding, understanding and loving the parts of themselves that need healing. They become the cheerleader and motivate people to become better versions of themselves. Through this they become surrounded by loving people who understand boundaries, love themselves and love those around them.
So when these two come together, there is an unspoken power struggle that erupts: the narcissist trying to draw praise from the empath and the empath seeing the harm the narcissist is causing themselves and others and trying to get through to the narcissist to help. The only way an empath can help a person is if the person allows them in, knowing that they are hurt and in need of help. Narcissists never see themselves as hurt or hurting others and so will never accept an offer of help as they “see no need for it”, so the empath is stuck seeing a train that is going to derail with no way to help – and this is deeply disturbing to an empath. Here are some ideas on how empaths can protect themselves.
So what can an empath do in order to be of service and help narcissists and those they affect? No amount of pushing is going to get the narcissist to open up and accept that they are in fact in need of help. The best thing you can do for them and those around them is to wrap the narcissist in love, with the intention that this covering of love will contain their fire so that it does not hurt people around them, but at the same time that it will reflect back to them their behavior so that may see and wake up to the truth of their situation, and so come to their own realization that they need to make changes – and then the empath can step in and do the work.
Are you an empath? How do you handle narcissists? Tell us about your experience with narcissists in the comments.
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