Soul Dialogue is something that I have been thinking a lot about recently. The reason I’ve been thinking so much about this is that I have been dreaming, or more to the point lucid dreaming so much, that in some moments especially on waking I’ve had a hard time sorting out one reality from another. In one dream I found myself in a loop, I knew I was dreaming, I wanted to wake up, but I couldn’t, a friend even entered the dream at one stage to say ‘you are dreaming! Wake up!’ I replied in my dream state ‘I know, but I’m in this loop, and I can’t wake up from this dream’ eventually one of my cats helpfully stuck her paw up my nose (she wanted breakfast) and so ended the dream.
This got me thinking though, with these dreams so real and me being so lucidly aware of myself and this reality within the dream state, that perhaps life here is just a dream. What if this life that is seemingly so ‘real’ is just someone else’s dream, another me or another form of me? Another part of me who is having a dream of this reality. And if so, who? Or what?
Then I remembered someone posing the question to me once: are you the dream or the dreamer? Once you realise that you are the dream and the dreamer you can take control, and if this life is, in fact, a dream, who’s in the driver’s seat? Can I be lucid in my experience of this dream and take control, direct it? Like a movie, become the star performer and the director!
Seems to me that this also has to do with the existence of Soul and our participation and interaction with this spiritual and all-knowing aspect of ourselves. The soul that is ‘dreaming’ of this reality and this existence and actively directing the experience. If we can ‘wake up’ and become lucidly aware of Soul and the higher aspect of ourselves providing this platform and this existence and experience for us, we can take control, we can become aware of ourselves as both the dream and the dreamer and start to direct the experiences we want to have.
As the dreamer experiencing the dream, I wanted to know ‘who am I’ and asked this in meditation which initially led to the article being written. At that time, I’d just had my purse stolen and apart from the total inconvenience it raised some interesting questions for me. I was asked to produce my identity-book one afternoon shortly after without thinking I replied to the person asking for it ‘Oh! I have no I.D!’ Only a few minutes later did I stop and think to myself ‘what an odd thing to say’ Naturally I was thinking of the ID book when I said it, however, what hit home a few minutes later was the more spiritual and personal implication of the statement.
Who am I? Answering that question is like trying to find and hold onto the soap in a bubble bath! Every time you think you have it, it jumps out of your hands, seemingly unwilling to be found and held onto. How hard can it be in the confined space of a bath can it be to find and hold onto the soap? How hard indeed can it be within the limits of our world as we know it, be to find and hold onto a sense of Identity and ‘I am?’
Perhaps the whole point is that the ‘I am’ is not meant, to be defined. For those who know me, you will know I love dictionary definitions, I must have everything clearly defined, crystal clear and understood! When I give a talk, it inevitably involves a dictionary definition somewhere or another. So, the ‘I am’ is giving me some trouble.
In hand reading terms, we look at the water finger, for those of you who don’t know what that means it’s the index finger. On my hand reading workshops, I call that the finger of ‘I am’. In that context, I mean it is the finger of ‘My relationship with myself’ ‘My Self-perception’ and the finger that governs ‘How I relate to my world’. Until today, I’d not really thought about how significant these statements are.
It does strike me though to get to grips with ‘I am’ that this has very much to do with a few other biggie questions such as ‘why am I here?’ and ‘what am I meant to be doing?’ Over the years on my travels around the country to give workshops and see clients I have been asked these two questions by almost every single person who has come to see me and by most people who have attended my workshops. The penny only dropped today though when I realised that those questions are only answered when we come to an understanding and realisation of the ‘I am’ the rest such as ‘What is my purpose?’ becomes known naturally.
Perhaps to come to an understanding of ‘I am’ we need to understand life itself. Dr Lyall Watson, in his book Dark Nature, takes this view of life:
‘Our world hums with creative energy, glorying in improbable assemblies of unlikely chemicals. Anarchy is loose in the land and against all the odds, is order. The ocean heaves and turns, rain falls, the land rises, winds blow and life blossoms – all because something keeps our environment stable despite vagaries sun and time. It looks astonishingly well organised, more like an artefact than an accident. Which may be exactly what it is, an ecosystem created and maintained by life for its own ends.’
If, as Lyall Watson suggests Life is an ecosystem created and established for its own purposes than what this suggests to me is a physicality is an organised event. Something created me and gave me along with every other living thing, including the very planet itself lives in a very complex and perfectly balanced way! This tells me unquestionably and without a doubt that I have a life for a purpose, and I believe that only soul could have created this.
That the two are intertwined and separate at the same time also tells me that I created my physical life in spirit and soul to experience and, that I’m living out this reality in the physical world that literally is of my mind’s creation. Therefore, I have a purpose, I have a reason to be here and to be a part of the greater ecosystem of this thing we call life. Therefore ‘I am’ as simple as that.
Somehow, I baulk at the idea that life for me is defined regarding an ID number, employee number, bank account number, bond account number, car registration number, credit card number, etc., etc., etc. How about I am a banker, secretary, CEO of a huge corporation! Is that all? Really? Is that who you are? I don’t think so. We are so quick to define ourselves in so much different and limiting ways. Losing my purse was a gift. I’ve not yet missed it, and I’m surprisingly reluctant to rush out and replace all the pieces of plastic and paper that filled it up. For the first time, I have realised how much of my own ‘I am’ statement was bound up in what all those things represented regarding the way I viewed myself.
It is a difficult thing to think of oneself as simply ‘I am’ we invariably want to complete that statement or qualify it in some way, put a tag or a label onto the end of it and give it definition and understanding. To simply be is one of the hardest things to achieve as a human being.
So then to get back to the dictionary! What exactly is the purpose? Well, The Concise Oxford defines it as ‘The reason for which something is done or for which something exists’. Aha, so there must be a reason I exist then, as I understand it in the context of what is my purpose? And if I exist for a purpose or a reason and I have life, then what indeed is life for? Seems to me that life is about creation and recreation in continuous and never-ending cycles, and as it is in nature, so it is with us as humans, we are in an endless cycle of creation and recreation as part of the life system.
‘Who am I’. I decided to meditate on this question, and this is how the dialogue went:
The soul who am I?
You are the spirit and the servant, the helper and the master creator. You are the source of your own creation.
Then why are you, Soul?
I am you, I am the source, and you are me. You are the soul. You are the physical incarnate of my intent. Your meaning and power lie in the intent of your existence and your participation in the creation of that plan.
When the birth was intended, and you became physical, I was always a part of you as the observer as you are me; I observed your experiences. When you asked I re-integrated with your material, I am you. You are my intention.
So then, who am I? I’m still confused!
You are the creator of ‘I am’ at every point and turn of your existence. Nothing happens without your intent when this intent is unconscious, it merely translates as your experiences. Yet nothing happens that you have not intended to create. You make your experiences, it’s like a prism with many facets you shine and reflect and project many colours and, in this way, the ‘I am’ takes many forms, yet you are still the whole prism. You simply are, you exist to be.
How do I define ‘I am’ and Purpose?
You merely exist, as a soul, I created you the physical. There is no purpose, just experience, which you may allow as much or as little of in your own choosing. There is no agenda to the ‘I am’ it is but to be to create an experience and to live and understand that experience. The ‘I am’ is only the tool of the creator to enable to build and have the experience.
What then of Purpose? Everyone keeps talking about and asking about use? Everyone wants to know – what is my goal?
The purpose is always to bring purpose, to whatever you are doing.
Until you actively create, the purpose is irrelevant. It is merely experience. Most people live life by being carried along on the circumstance and experiences of those events, and no experience is wrong.
The purpose is merely when you start to direct the skills yourself. Therefore no purpose can be pre-ordained it is chosen only when you awaken to your soulful self and realise you are the creator of those experiences. As you create so, you have a purpose.
It is not in the belief that you have been made physical (born) for a particular purpose; it is in the ability of the physical to create the goal by conscious effort and conscious connection to the soul source. When you direct the energy of the source with will and intent, you create a goal.
You are physical to experience first; when you learn to create, you have a purpose.
What then of choosing to be an individual person at soul level before becoming physical, and what of choosing and making soul agreements? Surely that pre-sets my purpose and ‘I am’?
As a soul, I made you physical. For you to be physical on earth, a pre-existing set of circumstances needed to exist for you to be born into and of the physical mind and body to understand. A linear and chronological set of events required to be in place for physicality to happen, these circumstances allow for physical birth into a family, country, etc. to take place. In other words, these conditions give you a framework to be physical within.
Those circumstances you chose as a soul, but without the pre-set intent of living out those events, in other words, that life. The longer it takes to reconnect with the soulful experience and to experience yourself as the soul source and creator, the longer you live with those circumstances. Some people live out these conditions to the conclusion, never reintegrating mind while in the physical, that is not wrong, it is merely experienced, and when they die, they still reintegrate fully into the soul with those experiences. The soul is not the experiences, only the observer of the experiences.
The minute you became physical (at conception), as your soul and as you are me, I am with you communicating with you all the time, when you become consciously aware of yourself as soul and a light being, the ‘I am’ simply is.
When this awareness happens, you start to direct and create from the source of your being this is when you in the physical will say it ‘feels’ right, ah! This must be my purpose.
It is when you allow yourself to be connected and guided by me as your soul within the realm of physicality, that what you do seems ‘right’ and that it has a purpose. When you listen to the guidance from the voice within, when you simply be! As you are, with no attempt to change, you begin to direct your purpose.
It is in the guided experience of physicality by your own creation that you direct the energy of the source into purpose.
Therefore, the purpose only happens when you start to create it, and use is not static. By consciously changing your circumstances and experiences by listening to the guidance of the soul, the ‘life’ that you choose is still in the creative process. This means that purpose is ever-changing as it is guided by spirit and created by you in the physical. The mind and the physical integrate and work as one director of creation and purpose.
When you say ‘I’ you alert your soul and the source energy that you are about to create. The ‘I’ is a statement of intent. The ‘I am’ creates the reality as you express it when you attach an additional plan to the ‘I am’. For instance, ‘I am happy’ would create the reality of happiness, in your own direction.
Your life is your playground, and it is yours to choose, set up and intend the experiences you wish to have. The language you want and how you state this intent using ‘I am’ is powerful and literal, your language therefore and how you express your intent is important in the creative process of directing the experiences you will have.
Life and soul do go together, and in the essence of creation, we first must learn just to be. I – used by a speaker to refer to himself/herself. Am – first person singular of the present being.
Your soul created the life you lead, and you are your soul and therefore, the creator. In answer to the question ‘Who am I?’ You simply are to be. ‘I am’ is your instrument to use for the creation of your reality, you may define that in any way you wish it’s limitless and entirely up to you to choose your encounters and experiences of life. As always, the choice lies with you. Shifting, changing and creating realities is in your hands when you listen to your soulful self and allow yourself to be guided this is indeed a powerful way to manifest your purpose, by your own choice and direction.
From now may you bring into your life persuasive intent to create with vivid colour imagination and the energy of the creativity of your source. Do not limit yourself to any statement of ‘I am’ which does not support your growth, glorying in and valuing yourself for simply being in existence, for having life, and may you feel the joy of the pure experience.