There are many ways to practice and incorporate the art of mindfulness in your life. One fun and unique way to do it is by playing an escape game. Breakout offers immersive movie-styled escape rooms for players of all ages. When you play the escape games at Breakout, you must stay keenly aware of your surroundings. Players will have to notice their surroundings closely, search for riddles and solve the puzzles in time. In this way, escape rooms like Breakout can help you practice mindfulness through awareness. 

What are the basics of mindfulness? 

There are various ways for you to practice mindfulness in your daily life, here are some ideas to get you started:  

1.       Setting aside time to practice                             

Practicing the art of mindfulness does not necessarily require you to buy any expensive equipment. You need not spend money buying a brand-new meditation cushion or bench. Instead, all you need to do is set aside some time from your hectic daily schedule. Taking time to practice mindfulness allows you to approach the rest of your day with calm awareness.

2.         Find a place where you will not be distracted 

Search for a suitable distraction-free area to sit for about ten or twenty minutes. Ensure that the place you choose is free from excessive noise and offers you a calm and quiet environment. Even putting your phone in Do Not Disturb, on airplane mode or silence while sitting here can be a good practice. In this way, you can further prevent almost any distraction that may otherwise interrupt you and disturb your mindfulness practice. 

3.         Observing the present moment 

Mindfulness is about observing and contemplating the present moment. Contrary to popular beliefs, practicing mindfulness does not require always keeping your mind quiet. Instead, it focuses on achieving a state of eternal peace. One needs to focus on the present moment of being to achieve such a state. When you practice mindfulness you are mindful of each moment, each thought, and each activity. You do everything with attention. By paying attention only to the task at hand in any given moment, you find peace from over thinking about anything else.

4.         Noting things down 

You can make it a habit to note down simple and doable actions that you wish to focus on in your life. You can focus on specific areas of your life that you want to work on and improve. In this way, you can benefit from releasing the excessive stress in your life and lead a better life than before.

It can also be a great practice to let go of your pent-up emotions. It allows you to introspect and resolve any inner conflicts or issues you may face instead of having them running through your mind the whole time. 

5.         Sitting in a comfortable posture  

Making yourself comfortable is essential before you practice any kind of mindfulness exercise. Usually, people prefer to sit upright with their hands placed on their knees or their laps. Sitting in a suitable chair or couch can be an appropriate option for people who like a little back support. One may even choose to lie down on the floor to get themselves in a more relaxing pose. Start by selecting and maintaining a comfortable posture to do mindfulness exercises. 

6.         Creating the perfect ambiance  

Setting the mood can help your mindfulness practice. You can light a few scented candles and place them around you. Using incense and essential oils can also be effective in helping your mind and body calm down. This way, you can set the perfect tone to cleanse the air around you and immerse yourself in mindfulness exercises.

Practicing mindfulness is a reasonable practice for people across age groups to cope with the stresses of everyday life. So, keep these valuable tactics in mind and ensure that you start practicing mindfulness to alleviate the chaos raging in your soul.

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Studies show that noise has a powerful physical effect on our brains, causing elevated levels of stress hormones. Sound travels to the brain as electrical signals through the ear. Even when we sleep, these sound waves cause the body to react and activate the amygdala, the part of the brain associated with memory, emotion, and the feeling of danger, which releases stress hormones. Therefore, living in a noisy environment causes us to experience extremely high levels of these harmful hormones.

Many people need to fill the void left by silence with music, a television in the background, or any noise that breaks the monotony. They think it helps them feel some company. For them, silence is synonymous with loneliness. Thus, it becomes disturbing and even frightening.

The damage of noise

Noise is linked to high blood pressure, heart disease, and sleep loss. We have all experienced the detrimental effects of noise pollution. Excessive noise can take a heavy toll on the physical senses, and more and more people today identify as highly sensitive and unable to function in noisy, chaotic environments. We are finding out now that noise hurts and that silence heals.

Noise is a mixture of sounds of various frequencies that is annoying to the individual and is currently considered an “invisible” pollutant worldwide. This is especially true for neighborhoods in urban areas, where the number of vehicles and the desperation to move faster in traffic play an important role in noise emissions. A recent study in Sweden has determined that even at low levels, the generation of vehicular noise creates discomfort, disturbs sleep, and potentially causes insomnia, especially in more populated cities or those who live in areas with a more significant influx of people.

The effects of silence

Doctor Luciano Bernardi studied the physiological effects of noise and music in 2006, making a surprising discovery. When subjects in his study were exposed to random stretches of silence between noise and music, they experienced a powerful effect. The two-minute breaks were much more relaxing for the brain than soothing music or even the most extended silence before the experiment began.

Many of us who teach meditation can attest to this and advise people to take frequent meditative breaks throughout the day. Silence is much more than a lack of information. The brain recognizes silence and responds to it positively.

 Benefits for your body

Have you thought about how the sound of a siren affects your body? Perhaps something more familiar to us is the disturbance caused by the alarm that wakes us up in the morning. Those shocks are pretty damaging to our bodies.

However, it is impossible to avoid them. We live in a world marked by noise where we mainly need it to survive. It is up to us to take small actions to keep our bodies in perfect condition. For example, taking a 10-minute break and being quiet every 3 hours lowers your heart rate, regenerates new brain cells, and lowers your blood pressure. In addition, it helps to have a good memory and learn faster since it facilitates the restructuring tasks of the hippocampus.

Benefits for your mind

The benefits for the mind are even more significant than the benefits for the body. When it comes to resetting our brain and its functioning, the only way is through silence. Using silent relaxation techniques such as mindfulness will provide a few minutes for the brain to rest. At this time, with a healthy and empty brain, our minds will be filled with creativity and positivity to return to the daily hustle and bustle.

Some tips for having moments of silence.

1. Turn off or mute digital devices. Your cell phone is an excellent source of interruptions. At the same time, being busy generates frustration, pressure, and stress. Muting notifications is key to enjoying the benefits of silence.

2. Take walks in search of silence. Nature walks or walks on the city’s outskirts do not imply silence since each environment has its own sounds. But they allow you to get away from traffic and other sources of noise that contribute to increased stress.

3. Go to libraries or other quiet spaces. If you live in a city, a public library, a museum, a gallery, or some other place where silence prevails can be a welcome oasis. It can help you pause, slow down, and calm down to continue with renewed energy for the rest of the day.

4. Use earplugs or headphones. Earplugs or noise-canceling headphones can be of great help, especially for those who live in very noisy areas and cannot be isolated even inside their homes. If you cannot have silence because you live with other people, listening to soft music or sounds such as rain, falling water, or the sea can be very helpful.

5. Find at least ten minutes to practice mindfulness. Find that daily moment to disconnect from all external and internal noise. You will be able to be more balanced, more centered, and less prone to be emotionally reactive.

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“Be your version of smiling” we have heard this quote quite often, right? But why is it important? Because it gives you self-confidence and self-worth and more trust in yourself. And being confident leads to more happiness and joy in your life. Now the question is how to start loving yourself or pushing yourself to care for your needs and not sacrifice your well-being to make others happy.  

Self-love is vital in various aspects of life, so low self-esteem can also be a severe problem. Let’s take an example of escape games like Riddler’s Escape. If you don’t believe in yourself, you have low confidence in putting your views or thoughts among your teammates in the game; you will not be able to solve puzzles within a set time limit. It is necessary to work on your self-esteem as it impacts your decision-making and overall well-being, and this will come when you start loving yourself. Here are 11 ways to practice self-love and how to be good to yourself – 

1. Firstly, stop comparing yourself with others. Stop trying to be perfect. Be yourself. Don’t let others’ wrong opinions affect you; don’t care about what they say or what dirt they have in their head for you. Believe in yourself.  

2. Admit your flaws or mistakes and work on them to improve yourself, taking the necessary actions. Accept yourself as you are. Process your fears and bad decisions to understand at which point you went wrong in your head.  

3. Trust your decision and your feelings and love yourself. Having self-trust means staying true to yourself. With this, you can survive any difficulty in your life.  

4. Celebrate small things, celebrate yourself, and take time to be grateful for all that you have and for your life. Sometimes, these little celebrations can make a person happy and loving. Enjoy the simple things and treat yourself.  

5. Learning to say ‘’No’’ is a part of improving yourself, and it is an essential skill, but you must know where and for whom you should put your precious time and energy. It will enable you to set boundaries and clarity for others on what they can expect from you.

6. Make a list of the things you’re grateful for, like, your family, friends, health, pet, job, the environment, or anything you feel thankful for. Showing gratitude for the things around you affects you a lot in your life. It makes people feel more positive vibes.  

7. Prioritize things that are important in life. Put yourself first in life. Self-love or self-care is crucial. Prioritizing things helps make essential decisions and identify what’s truly needed in life. 

8. Focus on positive aspects only. Let go of negative self-talk. We focus so much on the negative that the positive loses its place in our hearts.  

9. Be willing to change and move forward in life to experience new and exciting things. It forces us to grow and work towards our goals.  

10. Self-expression is also essential in developing a sense of belonging to the world. It will make you feel better about yourself. Show up your complicated feelings when life gets tough.  

11. Live in the present. Stop thinking about the past. Live your life consciously. Living in the present means no longer worrying about what happened in the past and what will happen in the future.  

Self-love is an unconditional acceptance of yourself. Being kind to yourself lowers anxiety, depression, and stress and helps build self-respect and the ability to keep going in the situation. Don’t just be good to others. Be good to yourself too. Don’t be afraid to let go of toxic people in life. Permit yourself to be kind to yourself. When a person loves himself more, he immediately changes his outlook on the world and encourages himself to pick up good habits. Know yourself. If you stay true to yourself, you’ll gain a sense of who you are and will never have regrets. Surround yourself with people who cheer you up for your well-being. Live your best life and love yourself.  

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For me, the best way to phrase it is relating to yourself as you would with a friend and romantic partner that you are crazy about. You know, staring at them adoringly, letting mistakes and irritable habits slide, being there, and showing up when they are down, hurt and broken. We tend not to do this for ourselves. It is as if we don’t think we deserve it. I know you also think that sometimes, otherwise, you wouldn’t be here reading this post.

I have avoided myself and my hurts and my needs very many times in the past. When I was scared or hurt or going through something, I tended to turn to others, take care of them, nurture them even more, and love them even harder, when I was the one who needed it. It was as if I thought that I would somehow heal myself by giving love and care to others. I would feel guilty for showing self-love.

I did not know how to receive.

I felt guilty for receiving.

I felt guilty for even asking.

The reasons why we have become conditioned this way are various and vast – mostly stemming from wounds inflicted in childhood. But here we are… Beautiful. Strong. Human… and feeling guilty for asking and accepting love – even from ourselves.

What is guilt?

Guilt is the feeling or emotion we experience when we (or others) think that we have done something wrong. It is slightly less intense than its cousin, Shame – where you believe you are a terrible person for doing something wrong.

You feel guilt when you do something that you perceive as not being acceptable by universal moral standards. You could also feel it when you break your own standards of acceptable behavior. People are social creatures, and we continuously strive for acceptance and approval. Anytime we feel that we have acted in a way that is not accepted or that either ourselves or others do not approve of, we feel guilty.

Because we think that it is not acceptable, we sometimes feel guilty for showing self-love.

So why do we feel guilty for loving ourselves?

The perception of lack.

There is the idea that if you spend any sort of resource, time, money, effort, and energy on yourself, there will be less for other people. We tend to hold on to the view that all of these resources are limited, and that keeps us in a perpetual cycle of lack.

The universe exists in a vibration of abundance – love is an energy of abundance. The more you learn to vibrate at that energy, the more you can encourage it to resonate and spread out, amplified.

The more love you cultivate in yourself, for yourself, the more you are surrounded by that energy and vibration, and the more it will naturally spread out to the world around you.

Feeling loved and cared for will naturally raise your energy as you no longer spend that energy focusing on just being ok. When you are in the space of giving yourself exactly what you need – as only you know how to give it – you spend less energy trying to get that from others.

So what about time? Surely that is a limited resource? Yes, and no. Without getting into a big discussion about whether time is linear or not, there is one thing that I want to focus on here. It is how you use the time that you perceive you have. I get it. There are probably 1000 things pulling at you and demanding your attention, and you need to figure out what to focus on and where to spend your time. The one thing that I learned about my excuse of not having time to spend on myself is that I mistook motion for inspired action.

Motion is all about doing and doing and doing, always staying busy in order to keep ahead and on top of everything that needs to be done. It stems from the idea that anything worthwhile is only obtained through hard work and struggle. We, as a society has glamorised burnout.

Now, let me say this: you can get so much more done when you start taking inspired action. Inspired action is when you slow down, you get quiet, and you start to listen to your soul. Some call it intuition – I know it as that voice that urges me to do something that just doesn’t want to go away. Sometimes it is quite persistent. Sometimes it is a fleeting thought to which I respond: ‘Ok, why not?’.

Through starting to take inspired action, you begin to work with the flow of the universe. Things start to fall into place with ease and grace. As you practice following your intuition, the right situations, people, and things will naturally start to gravitate to you. Opportunities arise, help comes when you need it. You are in the flow.

But self-love is selfish, right?

Wrong!

Sit for a moment and think about someone you love. A friend, family member, your partner or child… Think about what you would do for them and how far you would go to make them feel cared for, nurtured, safe, and loved. Now think about whether you are doing those things for yourself. Would you do those things for yourself? Have you been?

I am suspecting that the answer is ‘No’. That is because we feel selfish for taking care of and looking after ourselves. And by seeing ourselves as being selfish, we feel guilty for showing self-love. Perhaps this is because you have been taught that it is wrong, or maybe you were just never told that it is ok. It could also be that you just never learned how to give yourself the love that you freely give to others.

Taking care of yourself is often linked to words like ‘luxury’, ‘spoil’, and ‘guilty pleasure’. These words all link to beliefs that doing things for yourself is selfish. That it isn’t normal and natural. That we do not deserve it.

Perhaps now is the time to start changing that.

Enmeshment and preoccupation with others.

When you have weak boundaries, you tend to want to live up to other people’s expectations. You do things that are expected of you even when you don’t really want to. You feel responsible for others’ emotions, happiness, and wellbeing.

This is a form of enmeshment, where there isn’t a clear distinction between yourself and someone else. In this situation, you consistently place other people’s needs or even wants before your own needs.

By being enmeshed with others, instead of helping them, you are enabling them. You are standing in their way of self-automization, self-realization, and growth. You take away the responsibility that they have for themselves.

You need to set boundaries in order to start taking better care of yourself. This is hard, and other people might not understand it. They might get upset, and they might get angry. And that is ok. It is theirs to carry. Stand in your power and give when you have to give. But also take when you need to take. There is no need to feel guilty for showing self-love.

It’s really just all excuses not to sit with ourselves.

Whoa!

I know – that is a harsh truth. One that I have also had to face. The times when you love yourself the least are the times when you need it the most. But I get it, you are scared. You are scared of what you might find when you enter into an intimate relationship with yourself.

Relationships have a way of bringing all your ugly bits to light. You know, once you get to know someone, maybe move in together there are things about yourself that you can no longer hide – like the way your hair stands up like a cockatoo when you get out of bed, or how you really enjoy having a good fart!

The same thing happens when you start to grow and nurture your relationship with yourself. You encounter the things that you have been hiding from yourself for a very long time.

Carl Jung called this your shadow side or your shadow self. It is all the parts of you that you find unacceptable (and that society finds unacceptable). We hide from them and avoid them because if we look at them, we will realize that we are not perfect, that we are not always right, that sometimes we are the toxic people.

But you know what: there is infinite power that lies in exploring these dark parts of yourself. It helps you to work through old hurts and ways of thinking. It leads you on a path of healing and self-acceptance. It gives you the power to change yourself and your life because you no longer have this massive blind spot for the things, behaviours, and thoughts that have been holding you back.

This, for me, is the root of all the excuses not to love yourself:

You are avoiding being present with yourself.

Think about it. Every single act of self-love stems from the need to be present with yourself.

Give yourself a facial? Presence.

Choosing a treat for yourself that you love? Presence.

Focusing on accepting your body as it is right now? Presence.

Take yourself out on a date? Presence.

How do you become more present with yourself? Well, you start with setting the intention. Every morning when you wake up, choose to be present and to pay attention to yourself (or better yet start a self-love morning ritual). Write it down and make the commitment to yourself with ink on paper.

Affirmations to be present with yourself:

“Today, I am paying attention to myself”.
“Today, I am being present with myself”.

Start with little steps and start bringing your thoughts and attention to yourself throughout the day. Focus on how your body moves while you are doing the dishes. Listen to the sound of your voice when you speak. Bring your five senses into your daily self-love practice.

As with many things, the first steps on your self-love journey are the most difficult. As you get going, you will build momentum, and the lovin’ will start flowing freely and easily. I am here to support you all the way.

Join hundreds of others on a Free 1-week ultimate Self-love challenge. Or commit to doing a 1-month Unashamed Self-love virtual course.

You can join our Sacred Sisterhood of Self-love group on Facebook.

I also elaborate a lot more on guilt, lack, family wounds, boundaries, and loving yourself more in my Remembering Your Worth E-course. Follow the link or click below to find out more.

I would love to hear about how you show up and stay present with yourself, and how you handle moments when you feel guilty for showing self-love in the comments.

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An easy way to invite more self-love into your life is to connect with yourself through your senses. Traditionally we know of five senses: smell, taste, touch, hearing, and seeing. There is also a sixth sense, called proprioception, which relates to being aware of your body position and how you interact with the physical space around you.

Here are some ideas to harness your senses to cultivate more self-love throughout your day.

Smell.

The sense of smell is one of the strongest senses that links to memories and emotions. You can practice more self-love by surrounding yourself with smells that you adore. Smells that bring back good memories, and that encourages specific emotions. Integrate different smells into your daily life, and especially into those times where you consciously practicing self-love. Combine the smells that you surround yourself with the memories, the feelings on the emotions that you want to experience.

Taste.

Invite self-love into your life through taste. This is an excellent opportunity to engage in conscious and mindful eating. Indulge in your favorite food and give not one thought to any conditioning that you’ve experienced around it. For example, chocolate is often referred to as a guilty pleasure, but cacao has been part of sacred rituals at least since the Mayan times. Take your time to prepare and eat the food that you enjoy and refuse to feel guilty or accept judgment. Open up yourself to new experiences and try things that are novel to you. You can find as much pleasure in the texture and taste of a crunchy salad as you could from a creamy and luscious dessert. The question is: what do you like? Consciously pay attention to the tastes that you experience. Show yourself more love by guilt-free eating the things that you enjoy and exploring self-love through your senses.

Touch.

Give yourself some lovin’ by touching your body. No, I don’t necessarily mean sexually… But I do mean sensually. There is a lot of power and, in fact, empowerment in engaging with your body sensually and exploring self-love through your senses. Touch the bits that you don’t often give attention to, like your elbows or the backs of your knees, the spaces between your finger and the small spot behind your ears. Get to know your body and show it some love through the sense of touch.

Hear.

Surround yourself with sounds that you like. Play your favorite music or listen to healing sound vibrations. Harness the healing power of sound to help you change your inner vibrations. Pay attention to the sounds around you, sounds that you usually block out or ignore. Find the joy in the voices of those that you love, your family, your friends, your children, your partner. Pay attention to the sounds of their voices, the vibrations they create, and allow yourself to be surrounded by those vibrations. Lean into them as if they were a physical embrace and soak up all the good feelings that come up.

See.

Celebrate your self-love by looking for the beauty in ordinary things. Practicing mindfulness meditation is a wonderful way to enhance this skill. Start to look at mundane things through new eyes, really pay attention to them. Notice how the light changes how something looks. See the reflections in a glass. Notice all the different colors of the hair that covers your dog or the flecks of color in your lover’s eyes. Surround yourself with things that you like to look at. Things that make you feel happy and inspired. Things that motivate you and raises your vibration.

Proprioception.

Practice self-love through becoming aware of your body. Take a few minutes throughout the day to check in to see how your body feels, pay attention to any spaces of stress or tension, and release them. Become aware of your physical body in the physical space around you. Notice how you are able to create changes in the space around you in an instant. All you need to do is have a thought, and you can reach out and pick up that apple or push in that chair. Pay attention to how you are the creator of your own life and your own space. It might not seem like much, but can you see how you are the vessel through which change happens?

Small steps. Small steps to a very big, unconditional and unwavering love. That is what we are doing here. We are consciously looking at and changing how we interact with ourselves. We are consciously starting to pay attention and to take better care of ourselves. This self-love affair is the most important relationship that you will ever have. Let’s work on nurturing and growing it together.

Here is a self-love infographic that can help to remind you…

Find out how you can increase your self-love through Remembering Your Worth.

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Here are a few things that you can add to your morning self-love ritual:

Wake up gentle and slow.

Set your alarm clock to go off a few minutes before your usual wake up time. Choose a ringtone that is gentle and calm with some soothing sounds, but that would still be loud enough to wake you up. There’s nothing as shocking and unsettling as waking up to the sound of an alarm or even a digital rooster crowing. Yes, yes, real roosters out in nature are not the same.

Take some time as you wake up to slowly take in your surroundings, become aware of your body in the physical space, look at how the sunlight plays through the leaves against the curtains or the window. Take some time to experience this new morning. Connect with yourself or your partner, your cats, or your dog. Soak up some self-love as part of your morning self-love ritual.

Start your morning by slowly, quietly, and calmly being present.

Wait about an hour before you engage with digital devices.

We are constantly attached to our phones and digital devices. It’s almost as if they have become an extension of ourselves, and we feel a little bit lost without them. It’s natural to have the impulse to want to check your phone, your messages, or your emails as you wake up. Give yourself some space and some time where you don’t need to engage with the rush, or the stress, or with work.

Take about an hour if possible to focus on what you’re doing whether you’re making coffee or breakfast or having a chat with your child or your husband or wife do you serve free from distractions of your phone or any other digital device. Self-love comes through spending conscious time with yourself and your surroundings.

Nourish your body.

Loving yourself means loving your body and taking care of it. Here I can throw in a cliche like ‘breakfast is the most important meal of the day’ or something like that. The truth is your body has fasted for around 8 hours. Take some time to break the fast, drink some water to hydrate and give your body a nutritious meal so that it can have the energy to power you through the day.

Avoid being distracted by devices or thoughts of what needs to be done that day try and engage in conscious eating and paying attention and being present. Practice self-love through nourishing your body as part of your morning self-love ritual.

Nourish your mind.

Your mind is mighty. Your thoughts literally create the world around you – ask the quantum physicists even. That is why it’s so essential that you need to take care of your mind. That you need to nourish it. That you need to put all kinds of good things into it. By taking the time out to feed your mind every morning, you can become empowered. You can start to gain control over your mind, your thoughts, and your life.

You can become a powerful Co-creator of your life. Now, don’t let me hear you coming up with an excuse like you don’t have time. This is how you create your life, and five or 10 minutes every morning is absolutely worth it to bring in the changes that you’ve wanted for so long.

Good ways to nourish or expand your mind is to do some yoga or meditate you can write a gratitude list you can spend time focusing on affirmations or intentions. Get in touch with that powerful tool that you have at your disposal.

Stay present.

You might have noticed by now that all four previous points have one thing in common – and that is to cultivate presence. How do you start your day is often an indication of how the rest of your day will go. If you started off rushed and hurried and disconnected, the chances are that’s what you’re going to experience for the entire day.

You’ll probably not pay as close attention to things. It will likely feel like everything is going wrong and that you just cannot catch up to the present moment. So start your day off with being present. With being connected with your mind, your soul, your body, and your surroundings. Take the time out to be quiet. To start your day with consciousness and awareness. Make it a part of your morning self-love ritual and watch it gather momentum throughout your day.

Self-love is a difficult practice to do regularly. It’s easier to make excuses, to avoid it because we feel guilty for taking time for ourselves. The thing is, without taking time for yourself, you engage in the world in a disconnected way, in a way that is not always authentically you. And the world deserves the authentic you. They deserve to experience the uniqueness of your soul, the valuable gifts you bring to every day… to every interaction… to every moment.

Take some time out to cultivate the love relationship you have with yourself in order to grow that love and to expand that love. Because the more love you have in yourself, the more you will have to give and to share with others.

Find out how you can increase your self-love through Remembering Your Worth.

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I have dabbled in mindful living for about a decade, ever since I first read Eckhart Tolle’s ‘New Earth’. While it all made sense to me intellectually, and I spent many hours striving to capture that ever-elusive ‘present moment’, I only ever got glimpses of it. My moments of mindfulness were like glimmers on the surface of a pond, a bright reflection of light there for an instant and gone the next. I travelled to Thailand and Nepal, took yoga classes and eventually became a yoga teacher all in the pursuit of the Now.

I consider myself to be quite in touch with my spiritual side and meditate often. I have spent many hours researching and practicing being present, and still I often found myself in stretches of unconscious thoughts and behaviours.

The statement that made me stop and my tracks.

One evening I was watching a magic show on TV. The program revolved around faith healing and whether it is fact of fiction. Darren Brown, the presenter (or is it performer – I will let you decide) said something that completely startled me.

His sentiment was this:

You become the story you tell yourself about yourself.

That was my a-ha moment. Although I understood it intellectually, I never managed to integrate it into ‘knowing’ before. So I started deliberately practicing mindfulness. I started paying attention to every now that I could anchor in. I would sit and breathe or fully engage with whatever I was doing. Whether it was writing articles or putting on my computer, taking a shower or tying my shoes. I started paying attention more and more, especially to ordinary and boring things in my life. Things that I did as part of a routine that required no attention.

 As I started practicing mindfulness during those moments when I could have easily switched to auto pilot, I started to become aware of my thoughts and self-talk. I heard some interesting things – and some very mean things from myself… about myself.

The awful things you say to yourself.

‘You will never make it’, ‘you don’t deserve it’, ‘you are not worth it’… These have been thoughts that I have been working on changing. Each time I would stop the thought and change it into something positive. I would re-frame it to ‘look how far you have come’, or something similar. You become the story you tell yourself about yourself.

Then there were other stories that I would tell myself, stories relating to my abilities and the fact that I am living with depression and (sometimes nearly debilitating) anxiety. I would hear things like ‘this is too overwhelming’ and ‘it is too much, too big, someone with depression cannot possibly get this done’. You become the story you tell yourself about yourself. And every time, every mindful moment when I managed to catch that I simply reminded myself ‘all you need to do is one thing… just one thing… just this one thing’.

And once that one thing was done, I would take a moment to breathe consciously and sit with the heaviness inside of me that has become a rather permanent companion. I would sit in the darkness of me and breathe. And be mindful of my breath. And then I would pull myself together and do the next ‘one thing’. It would start non-committal, and then, as I practice being mindful I would quickly become absorbed in what I was doing and forget all about the heaviness… if only for a few moments of ‘now’.

Seeing the change.

I had changed my story from thinking that if I attempt one thing, I would have to take on everything… and be perfect at everything. But what practicing mindfulness has taught me is that there is always just one thing… because there is always just that one moment. And that one thing in that one moment is all that matters. Because all of those ‘one things’ eventually sting together to create a life filled with purposeful and conscious living.

You become the story you tell yourself about yourself.

Find out how you can increase your self-love and change the story that you tell yourself about yourself through Remembering Your Worth.

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Burnout is defined by the ICD-11 as “a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterized by three dimensions:

• feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion;
• increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job; and
• reduced professional efficacy.”

With this definition comes the caveat that burn-out is a phenomenon specifically related to one’s occupation and does not apply to other aspects of life.

Other mental health factors that influence employee productivity are anxiety and depression. The WHO estimate 264 million people life with depression globally, with many of these individuals also experiencing anxiety. A study led by WHO found that the global economy loses nearly US$ 1 trillion each year due to lost productivity as a result of these mental health conditions.

A different WHO-led study estimated that for every US$ 1 that was dedicated to the treatment of common mental health disorders, US$ 4 was returned in the form of improved health and increased productivity.

In 1979, Emeritus Professor of Medicine at the University of Massachusetts Medical Centre, Jon Kabat-Zinn introduced the west to The Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction programme.

In a study published in Creating Healthy Work Environments  in 2019, the authors found that integration of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) techniques in the workplace led to lower cases of worker burnout. The researchers also found that MBSR led to lower depression, anxiety and distress amongst employees.

Hilton and colleagues published a summary of recent Mindfullness-based research in Work in 2019, while this article published by Forbes (and this article here) indicate that large companies like Google, Intel, Aetna and General Mills have all incorporated mindfulness training as employee wellness offerings.

While a person’s mind tends to wander about half of his or her waking hours, mindfulness training helps to bring focus back to the task at hand. Mindfulness has been shown to improve stability, control and efficiency. Employees tend to be less scattered and complete tasks more thoroughly and quicker.

Practicing mindfullness has a positive impact on a variety of areas. It improves attention, cognition, emotions, behaviour and physiology. It reduces stress enabling employees to feel calm and focussed on the task at hand. It also has physical benefits such as lower blood pressure and stress-induced health concerns. This means lower cost of health benefits and less employee absenteeism due to poor health caused by stress.

Individuals who practice mindfulness show greater empathy, emotional resilience and compassion which leads to better interpersonal behaviour and workgroup relationships.

Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present without judgement. Often referred to as ‘in the now’ or ‘in the moment’, it is the practice of fully engaging with an activity or situation that is occurring at that particular moment, without judging anything that comes up. Besides paying attention to the activity, practitioners of mindfulness are also aware of themselves in that situation, of their physical and emotional responses in that space, again in a non-judgemental way.

There are many was to cultivate mindfulness, with meditation being one of the most powerful tools to do so. With practice one can enter a deeply meditative state where the focus is completely directed at the quiet space with, linked to the breath and the sensations in the body.

Other practices like yoga and mindful eating or walking can also assist in cultivating mindfulness. Mindfulness practice is exactly that – a practice. Some days it might come easier than others. The key to releasing the benefits is to engage in it consistently.

As per the summary published by Hilton and her colleagues, there are a number of different mindfulness practices aimed at improving employee wellness, and through that efficiency and productivity. With the growing popularity and the pool of research on the benefits of mindfulness in the workplace more and more employers are introducing these programs.

Specialised employee wellness and mindfulness programs provide employees with the skills to perform better under stress and to be more productive while at work. These skills can be, and often are, transferred into the employees’ lives outside work, leading to overall improvements of health, psychological wellness and general contentment. Employees who find contentment in and outside of their workplace tend to be more motivated and stay with their employer for longer.

Mindfulness programs in the workplace not only hold benefits for the employees, but also for the employer in the form of lower absenteeism rates and more productive employees. This, in the long run, lead to lower costs per employee, and higher income due to a more efficient workforce.

Take a look at our employee wellness and mindfulness offer here.

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I also had the opportunity to guide my students through some of the most difficult times of their lives. Scuba diving takes you waaaay out of your comfort zone. It places you in a very unique and unfamiliar environment. And you need to deal with all of the emotions that come up. The uncertainty, the trepidation, the fear…

I have been next to so many students working through their fear, fighting with their own minds in order to get control and surface more confident and empowered.

I want to do that for you. I want to help you on your journey, walk next to you through those dark and scary times when your mind might be telling you that it is all just too much. Let me sit with you and support you in order to gain your own empowerment.

Find out more about my Intuitive Shadow Work sessions here.

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What is your shadow?

According to psychologist Carl Jung we tend to project our shadow onto other people. Ever heard the saying that whatever bothers you the most of other people are your own unrecognised flaws? Our subconscious tries to bring these shadows to our attention through showing them in someone else. This can be friends or family or even fictional characters. It can even be in the form of people in your dreams. The shadow can also just be something that you repress, something that you hide from others and yourself.

It is natural for us to want to just see the good in ourselves, and it is difficult to admit to experiencing things like guilt and shame, anger, insecurity and lust, depression and anxiety. All of these things are seen by society as bad and we tend to distance ourselves from feeling and experiencing these things.

The more we try to silence our shadow side, the more it presses to be heard. It will consistently show up in other people and in your dreams. It wants to be acknowledged and integrated so that it can heal, and you can live a more authentic life.

                        “To become conscious of [the shadow] involves recognizing the dark aspects of the personality as present and real”- Carl Jung.

Once you start to do some introspection and chasing your shadow, or self-analysis as Jung calls it, your shadow will become more apparent. Honest investigation will show you parts of yourself that might be difficult to see, never mind accept. It is the parts that you have always been taught to reject, that aren’t good enough, that are not acceptable and worthy. From this stem self-rejection, and in extreme cases even self-hate.

Chasing your shadow.

To know yourself and fully accept yourself you need to dig deep into who you are, all the wonderful parts of you, but also all the nasty bits. Facing your shadow side, chasing your shadow, even just accepting that you have these qualities is difficult. You need to acknowledge parts of yourself that you have always tried to hide. The work is hard and long, one does not merely integrate one’s shadow in a day. It is a continuous cycle of growth, of facing bits, acknowledging and accepting them, healing and moving forward. Only to start the cycle again, digging more, digging deeper, healing more fully.

The goal of all of this is to be able to see yourself as a whole, but more than that, to be able to love and accept yourself as a whole, with all your good and bad parts.

You can, of course live your life without exploring your shadow side. This, however, will keep you in a state of unconsciousness as that is where the shadow resides. While ignoring your shadow you will also be ignoring your unconscious mind end everything in it that needs to heal.

We tend to avoid it because it is difficult and because it is painful. Few things are as soul shaking as taking a deep, hard look at yourself and realising that you are and have done things that are not ok. That sometimes, you are the toxic person in someone’s life. It takes strength and courage to stand, unwavering and face those truths about yourself.

Many people choose not to do it. They prefer to live in an unconscious space. For some people that path works, it is familiar, and it is comfortable. Facing your shadow is not. It is quite the opposite in fact. At least at first. It is sore and uncomfortable and daunting. But in the process, you will grow, and you will heal and the promise at the end is a self that is whole and complete. A person who know who they are and have seen the best and the worst in themselves and fully love and accepts the entirety of who they are.

How to face and heal your shadow.

How does one start to integrate your shadow? First you need to start by paying attention. Practice mindfulness and start to pay attention to the little things that might usually go unnoticed. You want to start making the unconscious conscious.

Through paying attention, you will start to learn what triggers you, what situations or which people elicits a certain, undesired, response from you. You will start to notice aspects of other people that you dislike. In these situations (or during a quite time afterwards) you can sit and explore the feelings that arose in you. Ask what triggered you and why you feel so strongly about it. Think back to other times in your life when you felt the same, is there a common thread that you can explore?

Our unconscious mind often speaks to us through messages in our dreams. My keeping a dream journal you will start to recognise whether there are patters that need to be explored.

The aim of shadow work is not to sit in a miserable heap, lamenting on what an awful person you are, although there might be moments of doing that. It is about self-discovery and self-acceptance.

It is thus important that shadow work should be done in a gentle and caring setting with focus and intention. A good practice is to keep affirming to yourself “I love myself when… (insert shadow aspect here)”. By becoming aware of your shadow side, it no longer holds any power over you. Rather, you become more empowered as a human being capable of experiencing the full spectrum of being alive, the good and the bad. And that is the way you lead an authentic life.

Find out how you can increase your self-love and chase your shadow side, and heal it through Remembering Your Worth.

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