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Is it possible to be too positive? Or is it perhaps negative to be too positive? Can a positive attitude be harmful? Most definitely.

What are you trying to hide behind that ever-glowing smile? What are you running away from? Stop denying it – it is not possible to always be positive. It is one thing to have a positive approach or outlook on life, but it is distinctly different from trying to convince yourself (and others) that you are an ever-positive person with nothing bad affecting you in life.

Why are we not allowed to have a bad day? Why are we afraid of admitting that something is not fine? What do we achieve by turning a blind eye to what is happening in the world around us? All for the sake of staying in a “positive environment” – or a fake one?

What are we afraid of? That if we acknowledge the “negative” things in life they will gain power? The thing is, by avoiding the negative things, we become unable to change it. You need to know the name of your enemy if you are to defeat it.

If you want to live an authentic life, you need to embrace all of life – the good and the bad. Don’t give up your authenticity, your humanness, for the sake of being seen as an always-positive person. I have so much more respect for someone who can break down and cry because life just sucks for that moment; being willing to lose the battle in order to win the war.

It is in the darkness of the shadow that you will find the weapon needed to defeat the enemy. Embrace the chaos of life. Embrace the sadness. Embrace the pain. Embrace the injustice. Face it, head on and call it by its name. Allow it to punch you, push you, throw you and step on you, because until you know its routine, power and origin, you will not be able to overcome it.

But you cannot do this if you choose to focus only on the positive, to only look for the silver lining. You will not be able to experience the light that brings the silver lining of the dark cloud until you allow that cloud to empty all its rain.

We are often told to use positive affirmations, mantras, to help us manifest or overcome bad situations. But do they really work? Or is it just a band aid on a wound that actually needs stitches?

Let’s break down the term “positive affirmations”:

Positive – Good, hopeful, nurturing, enjoyable circumstances. These are all synonyms or attributes of what we would consider positive.

Affirmation, which is to affirm – to state as truth and to support.

So when we create a positive affirmation based on a negative circumstance, what are we really affirming? Are we perhaps reinforcing the negativity? We are after all affirming that situation.

Let me give you a scenario: I hate my job. Like really hate it. So in order to help me cope with it and try to change it, I come up with a positive affirmation “My job is nurturing, supporting and makes me feel great”. I use it every day and it gives me some hope, but by the end of the day I get home frustrated and angry. That is because my “positive affirmation” is based on my negative experience, so instead of improving my situation, I am just reinforcing, affirming, the fact that I hate my job and trying to convince myself otherwise.

Positive affirmations need to be based on reality and not act as a distraction or something we use to try and convince ourselves. So a better “positive affirmation” for the above scenario could be “I am unhappy with my job, but I am open to finding ways to love it”. This way, you acknowledge the reality of the negative and you are calling in change, not just trying to convince yourself that everything is alright.

Positive affirmation, based on positive experience, work wonders in helping us focusing on and manifesting our goals. I will give an example of this:

I love my job and what I do, so I create a positive affirmation to help me excel in it such as: “My job is becoming more rewarding and fulfilling”, again affirming the reality (“becoming more rewarding” suggest that it already is rewarding) and calling in change.

So when creating affirmations, we need to affirm the reality and then change the energy.

We need to accept the duality of our existence. There is no running away from it. As long as you are here on this planet, there will be positive and negative experiences, on varying levels, until the day you die. No amount of ignorance will lead to bliss. But when you embrace the totality of life, you can turn the negativity in to positivity. Growing the light in your life so that you can handle the hard times better.

Face the negativity more easily. Bring about positive change. We need to transmute and transform the negative energies in to positivity and the only way to do that is to acknowledge, accept and experience them. They won’t just go away. Energy cannot be destroyed, it can only change form and the only way you can change it, is to work with it. Love your negativity.